Have you ever walked on the street and heard a stranger call out to you, saying that your toddler should stop sucking her thumb? Or you have that neighbour who constantly gives a lecture about how extended exclusive breastfeeding will affect a child’s development?
Fellow moms, older generation parents, strangers and the whole society always have a thing or two to say about your parenting choices as long as it doesn’t fit their description of a perfect mum. A lot of times these issues are just a by-product of cultural and religious bias, and while it doesn’t happen to everyone, it is too common, can be funny and oh-so-annoying.
I read an article once about things mums all over are usually judged for, and thought to put a Nigerian spin on it. Have a good laugh if any of these has ever happened to you, and remember that your style of parenting is a personal choice. You, not the society, decides what’s best for your family.
- Having more girls than boys
- Not having a son at all
- Having too many kids
- Having just one child
- Married early
- Married late
- Being a stay-at-home Mom
- Having a time-consuming career
- Working from home
- Not spacing your children
- Too much spacing
- Getting pregnant before marriage
- Unplanned pregnancy
- Having a C-Section
- Fat post-baby body
- Using a pacifier
- Wearing a baby on your chest instead of with a wrapper on your back
- Not breastfeeding at all
- Exclusive breastfeeding
- Scheduled feeding, a.k.a not popping a breast in her mouth as soon as she starts crying.
- Breastfeeding a walking toddler
- A thumb-sucking child (If you fed her enough, she wouldn’t suck her thumb)
- Having a skinny child
- Being the home’s breadwinner
- Hate cooking
- Suck at house chores
- Lazy
- Getting a divorce because you were cheated on
- Not getting a divorce from a serial cheater
- Being a single mother by choice
- Not letting your kids watch TV
- Too much TV
- Not having domestic help
- Having a lot of domestic workers
- Being too religious (did you really wear a head scarf for an infant?)
- Too strict
- Homeschooling your kids
- Not immunizing your kids
- Self-confessed sex lover
- Being older than your spouse
- Not taking up your husband’s surname after marriage
- Calling your husband by name
- Spanking your kids
- Not spanking them (That’s why they are such a lawless bunch)
- Feeding your family on takeout food, even if it’s just once.
About the author: Amina Salau is a writer and editor running The Illuminated Pen. You can find her online at www.theilluminatedpen.com and on Twitter (@_Aminah)
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This article was first published on 14th November 2014 and updated on November 6th, 2015 at 10:58 am
Comments (3)
As a Nigerian mother with a thumb-sucking child who does not yet have a sibling, I can relate to this!! I’m also guilty of judging in my mind even though I don’t say anything. I wonder how bad that is. LOL!
Lool. Funny but so real. Spot on. So who’s the author? Amina Salau or Elizabeth Ayoola?
Lol! Very fun and true read (even if some of the points were not about motherhood). And like Joy said, I recognised some of my own pet biases…skinny child and breastfeeding walking toddlers. Lol. I’ll see whether they hold when I have my own kids, though.
Well done!