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Nothing good comes out of people-pleasing behaviours. You may have friends and people around you but you’ll never have people who like you for who you really are. 

This is because people-pleasing makes you put others before yourself, and it is often the cause or symptom of low self-esteem. 

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Here are 4 ways to stop being a people-pleaser and become a happier person. 

Stay True To Yourself 

The most crucial aspect of your actions to remember is to stay loyal to yourself. Avoid doing things only to make yourself look good in the eyes of others, and stick to what you know is best for you. Don’t be scared to stand your ground if you’ve been put on the spot and asked to do something you don’t want to do. It demonstrates that you are capable of making your own decisions.

Learn To Say “No”

Sometimes you can get so used to people-pleasing that you have to remind yourself when it’s necessary to say “no”. If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, or if they ask you to do something ridiculous or unattainable, it’s okay to put yourself first and say “no.”

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If you’re not sure what answer to give in a particular situation, you can always ask for more time to think about it.

Set Healthy Boundaries 

Boundaries help you and other people in your life to respect your time. When you have healthy boundaries already in place, you will find it easy to determine when it’s necessary to say “no” to a request or when it’s within your power to help someone else. 

Some examples of healthy boundaries include deciding that you’ll only take phone calls at a specific time of the day or deciding that you won’t entertain any manner of work during the weekends. 

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Learn To Stand Up For Yourself

Sometimes you have to make people realise that they are overstepping their boundaries. You can do this by being blunt with them, or taking a more subtle approach, for example by ignoring someone when they’ve disrespected you. 

Although it requires practice, being assertive helps you to maintain healthy relationships with others. 

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This article was first published on 25th April 2022

samuelokoruwa

My name is Samuel Okoruwa. I am an ardent researcher, reading is life and writing is fun.

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