In case you missed it, read Part 1
here.
Q:[There are] Christian women who had sex before they got married but it didn’t affect their marriages. So why do we do have to lose out on good guys all because of sex?
Pst. Paul: One of the greatest things that can exist between a man and his wife is the virtue called
Trust. If you sleep with your spouse to be… you have sent a message to them: “You can’t trust me”. Because if she did not reverence God enough and His principles… enough to withold because of the fear of God… what makes you think she’ll be trustworthy to not withold when she’s in the encounter of somebody other than you?
There must be something… called the fear of God that keeps you in celibacy before you get married and keeps you in monogamy after you get married. So trust is important. If I see a couple who don’t have the ability to trust each other, sometimes when you track it backwards, you’ll find out they slept together before marriage. Come into the marriage bed with respect, with dignity. “I’ve kept something for you”.
Q: If you cannot experiment, how do you avoid disappointments after marriage in terms of functionality and fulfillment?
Pst. Paul: The physical anatomy of the person is not the person… What gives life and persona to the body is the human spirit and the fusion of the human soul to the body. There are things I only discovered about my wife sexually when we became sexually involved and that was after marriage. On the day we got married… it first felt like sin. My mind was programmed to run from fornication because it saw it as sin that destroys. So when we got together I had to reconfigure my mind.. “It’s [appropriate] now”… Sex is a gift from God but it ceases to be a gift but an impediment from hell when taken outside of marriage. That is before marriage or outside of it.
… If you can’t get it up, you should tell her, so she has the option to choose. Not telling her would make you a fraud.
Pst. Ifeanyi: I think everything is a partnership. Once as a woman, you are willing to learn, there is nothing you can’t enjoy. So even if you do not know anything. It’s a path of discovery to the place of fulfillment.
Pst. Paul: The beautiful thing about sex is that it’s self-teaching. You don’t need anyone to teach you…
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The package attracts, but it’s the content that makes you stay.”
– Pst. Ifeanyi
A big thank you to Pastors Paul and Ifeanyi Adefarasin for the great insights!
What are your thoughts on any of the issues raised? Do share them in the comments section below.
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This article was first published on 16th August 2015
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Ify Halim is a Writer and media enthusiast based in Lagos. She enjoys writing self-help/inspirational articles with published work in UYD Magazine, Edufrica, Our Stories Inc. and The Keele Concourse. She currently works at ConnectNigeria.com, Nigeria’s Information Portal. Follow her on Twitter @MissHalim or visit her online space at ifyhalim.wordpress.com
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