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The role of intimacy in a relationship is one that should never be overlooked.

A lot of times, intimacy builds up without any pre-planned action. And funny as it is, it also involves some really strange or rather awkward things like farting in front of each other, sharing painful and embarrassing moments together and more.

So whether you’re in a long distance relationship, married to the person of your dreams, or a complete newbie to the world of relationships, intimacy plays a really important and irreplaceable role in determining whether things are going to work out in the long run.

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Many focus on the materialistic and physical part of the relationship while underestimating the importance of intimacy. And though these aspects are relatively essential, they are not as important as intimacy and the strong bond that it births.

Here are some simple ways to ramp up your intimacy game in your relationship.


Yes, it is good to buy your partner beautiful things and treat them to expensive meals. But this is not what is being referred to here. Be generous when you share your time and feelings with your partner. Are you throwing ego out of the window and not caring who says sorry first or who should talk to the other first after a fight? Then you’re doing the right thing.

Being in a relationship with someone, you must remember that nobody is perfect and so keeping count of the bad things is a terrible idea. And though being generous is very important, give yourself away completely so much that you wake up one morning and realize you no longer have any idea who you are.

 Sharing fun times

It is a fact that couples who spend time in leisure experience less conflict than those who do not. By sharing mutually enjoyable moments together, you will feel more connected to your partner, thus forging a more intimate relationship.

There is no doubt that the best way to build intimacy is to have fun together. So whether you’re planning a romantic rooftop picnic for two, playing catch around the house or pillow fighting, spending time together will without a doubt keep the fie of intimacy burning.

 Prove your love

This age long craft is undoubtedly effective with getting intimacy going. You can pen a love letter and leave it somewhere for your partner to find later, pay surprise visits to their work environment or just say the words sincerely “I Love You” straight from the heart. Your partner will always appreciate the time and effort that you put into proving your affection and love.

 Speak the truth always

Keep no secrets from each other. And while there is always a temptation to dole out one white lie here and there, it is always best to be honest with the person you care about. If you think he made a bad decision with something, tell him what you think. If you think they’re wrong for speaking to someone in a particular manner, tell them so.

Though the truth may hurt and might cause a little rift, your partner will be glad you were honest with them. Your ability to freely communicate your thoughts and opinions honestly with each other plays a fundamental role in keeping intimacy alive in relationships.

 Body contact

While intimacy is not all about being physical with one another, it doesn’t hurt to indulge and often too.

When you touch your partner often by holding hands at the mall, stroking their hair or kissing and hugging before heading off to work, and mean every fondle, caress, hug and kiss that you bestow upon them, intimacy is only sure to get fired up.

 Be grateful and show it

Always taking time to show your appreciation to your partner goes a long way in strengthening intimacy. Simple as this sounds, many people tend to overlook this important aspect forgetting everyone deserves to be appreciated especially by those they love.

So it won’t be out of place if you say “Thank you for all that you have done, my love”, or treat your partner to a home cooked meal. Just show that you appreciate your partner. And to ace this game, look them in the eye every day and tell them how much you love them. This works like a charm.

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Go to bed together

One of the easiest ways to keep intimacy alive in a relationship as well as the most overlooked is going to bed together.

Bedtime should be a shared ritual of intimacy between two lovers as it reduces stress and tension. If both of you cannot sync your schedules to go to bed at the same time, the very least that you can do is to hug, snuggle or put to rest any tension between the two of you leftover from the day. A simple, “I’m sorry, my love, have a goodnight” will reaffirm your partner that you care about them.

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This article was first published on 12th December 2019


My name is Louis Anani and I am also known by friends as L.A Inspire. I am a digital content developer, realtor, inspirational storyteller, youth speaker and podcaster. I love to teach, council and help youngsters find a path in life when they feel empty and lost. And though solving the world’s problems is somewhat impossible, I believe doing one act of kindness to one person every day is a great start.

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