There will always be times when we need friends and people to be in our corner, in good times and bad times. Friendships are not easy to come by especially with growth and advancement of age, but they are very important. There are people who effortlessly attract people to themselves, and some others take more time before they get the right people by them. Deep connections do not happen automatically. It is good to know how to attract friends, as well as sustain the friendships.
Different ways to connect with good friends include:
Have a standard
The fact that you are seeking friends should not mean that you accept just anybody. You have to create a standard reflecting your values and interests. It is easier to find someone when you have an idea of what exactly you are looking out for.
Go out sometimes
If you are interested in physical connections, you should consider going out sometimes. Because you have a standard based on your values, it would be easy knowing where to find them. Go to the places where you would like to build a community and put yourself out there. Be approachable and allow people come close to you.
You should be more concerned about the quality of friends you make as opposed to just making friends, and to attract quality people, you must have done your homework. You essentially attract who you are. Be prepared to be authentic and look out for things you have in common with your friends. Be open, enthusiastic and voice out your thoughts freely. Do not cower to everything they say in a bid to please your friends, but let your authenticity shine through. Don’t try too hard to be kind. Respect your boundaries, communicate them and love yourself.
Be a good conversationalist
You get to connect with people by asking questions and listening to the answers they give. You can think up interesting questions that will allow conversations flow freely and bring them up. As you listen to their answers, you can interject occasionally and ask them to buttress when need be. You can also use non verbal expressions for them to know that you are following their stories and are paying rapt attention.
Giving compliments is not about engaging in flattery. You should find out genuine compliments about your friends, and do not wait for them to fish for it before giving it out. It could be about what they wear, their personality, their smile, their voice, anything at all. However, don’t give uncomfortable comments or anything that could be sexually suggestive, especially when dealing with the opposite sex.
Put up a smile
Smiles and laughter can be gamechangers. You suddenly make someone feel at ease when you put up a smile, or make them feel like they have a good sense of humor. It demonstrates warmth, accommodation and interest. People will gravitate towards you when they notice you are open towards them. They will want to be around you and share a part of themselves with you.
It is easy to make friends when you can visibly see what you stand to gain from them. You should examine your motives and ensure you are not opportunistic in your approach. Seek balance in your friendships and decide to give as much, if not more than you receive. Enjoy all the benefits that come as a result of the friendship, but give as much. If you are unsure about what to give, it is fine to ask how best to be of assistance.
As you make these friends, be grateful for them. Express your gratitude to them and celebrate your friends. You will definitely see this energy reciprocated.Featured Image Source: The Active Times
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