Influence is the foundation of leadership. John C. Maxwell, one of the world’s leading leadership coaches, affirms that leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Your ability to influence people can make your journey to success interesting. In a world where people’s lives are determined by who influences them, the need for the right kind of influence in our world today cannot be overestimated. I took the time to research some of the most influential people in the world and I discovered that there are similar patterns on how they became influential. In the article, we’re going to explore 7 proven steps to increase your influence.
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1. Be Genuinely Interested in People
The first step to increasing your influence is to be the best version of yourself. Never put up a fake personality. With this, you can connect with people’s feelings and emotions. Learn to make them comfortable around you by truly caring about them and how they feel. Be genuinely interested in how well their projects, goals, family, studies, and businesses are faring. When you show genuine concern for people, you will get their dopamine pumping, stimulating the pleasure-reward area of their brain that is responsible for making them feel warm.
2. Be Emotionally Curious
Making people feel important is one way of getting to their hearts. People like to be loved, wanted and accepted. If you show people that you like them and accept them for who they are, they can easily follow your lead. Discuss their culture, religion, occupation, dreams, opinions on various topics and so on to get to know their emotional and mental makeup. When you make people feel important, they react the same way.
3. Use Positive Body Language
The way you carry yourself goes a long way toward building or diminishing your influence. Putting on a cheerful smile, walking confidently, and letting go of your arms are ways to build influence and transfer trust and warmth to others. But wearing a gloomy look, or looking lost, aloof, or less aware can greatly diminish your ability to influence others. People can’t trust you, because you look out of place. But an exciting spirit and graceful posture can win people’s trust in you.
4. Use The Power of Storytelling
Storytelling is one of the tools to build and maintain your influence with people. Stories get people moved, and you can use stories to easily connect with them. Learn to share experiences through stories. These experiences can be childhood memories, experiences in business, marriage and relationships, school, career, etc. People, in one way or another, can relate to you on a personal level. Through your stories, they can learn from your fears and how you overcame them, they can see your courage in the midst of uncertainties, and they can learn more about your interests and values. Always use good storytelling technique so they can travel with you through your stories and understand your message better.
5. Be Vulnerable.
Be an open book. Never display perfectionism. You can be display excellence without displaying perfectionism. Never make people think that you are without error. Never appear to be too all-knowing and aware of it. Displaying an image of one who has got it all can negatively affect your influence. Sometimes being vulnerable and admitting your imperfections can endear you to many people. People find it difficult to associate with persons whose lives they can contribute to. When you look like you can’t be helped, advised, and taught, you will rarely be a person of influence. Admitting your weaknesses make you human and real.
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6. Learn to Ask For Help.
Asking for people’s opinions, guidance, advice can really endear you to them. People feel important when their opinions and advice are sought for, especially from a person of influence. Asking for help as a means of gaining influence is known as the Benjamin Franklin Effect: A situation whereby asking for help can have a disarming effect on people.
7. Become Charismatic.
Becoming a charismatic person is how you build an image in the minds of people. People might forget your words but not how you made them feel. Building charisma could take several forms such as maintaining a good sense of fashion, or a brand or of the style of clothing, putting up a posture of confidence and grace, and having to develop your oratory skill. Van Edwards suggests three nonverbal ways for you to increase your charisma quotient. When talking to someone, tilt your head, align your torso with that person’s and point your toes toward the person.
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