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black-woman-thinking It is so common, even borderline predictable, to hear a male friend rant along these lines; “I don’t understand these women! What do they want sef?” On a lighter note, I think more men might be thinking that if there was a book that they could read to help them understand women better, at least it would be some sort of go to manual but then, someone (a woman methinks) took it a step further and released a prank picture that has gone viral; a picture of a book that is more like an encyclopedia, titled, “Understanding Women Part 1”. The reactions I get when I send this to male friends are priceless, new and crack me up every time. However, it is time to get serious and crack this mystery that has been eluding men for eons now. What do women want? Figuring it out isn’t rocket science. What each woman wants may vary considering our individual differences and experiences but you will find most of the things we want here:
  1. Care and affection: She wants to be cared for and appreciated. Caring for her means that it matters to you how she feels and you take conscious steps to check up on her to know about her.
  2. Respect: She needs to know that your respect her opinions even when you don’t agree with her. Respecting her also means trusting her and helping her see her decision through even when you know she could do it better another way.
  3. Communication: Women are vocal creatures. They open up to that person they like even when they are certified introverts or unsociable. When you make yourself available for communication, she knows you want to listen to her. She knows you don’t think of her as worthless; that you cherish your conversations.
  4. Humour: She wants to laugh, and to laugh, she needs friends that are optimistic and high on life. She needs friends that don’t take themselves seriously; that can laugh at themselves and want to live life to the fullest as much as she does.
  5. Honesty: You might shake your head furiously and say this is not true because the results have backfired several times. It may appear like she prefers your lies at first but relationships built on lies never last. Truth is in the long run, you will be happy you were honest to her because it is by honesty you build trust and when you have a woman’s trust, you get her commitment too and she gives you peace.
  6. Understanding: She does not want to feel the need to explain herself every time she does something you do not understand. She wants you to just get it or at least trust her on the decision she has made, then she gets to explain it to you later when she has cooled off. I know this understanding part is frustrating but it is one crucial thing that we want.
  7. Strength: She needs the strength of those who care about her when she is weak. She might be the life of the party or the go to person for your problems but there are times she is tired, weak and hopes to find a friend to lean on or a shoulder to cry on.
  8. Security: She needs to feel secure. At least, every woman needs a place where she can let down her guard and just be herself. That is her place of security. Financially, emotionally, physically, intellectually… she needs to find these places in her to feel secure. If you are instrumental in helping her find these places, kudos to you.
  9. Loyalty: She needs to know that you are dedicated to her whether you are a friend, a fiance or a husband and this sort of loyalty she is asking for cannot be fake. You either have it or you don’t. The loyalty she requires from you as a friend is minimal compared to what she would require from her husband, but it is loyalty all the same.
  10. Shoes: She wants shoes and everything else that would contribute to making her look and feel good. She loves a well-thought-out gift too and you can start by showing her you understand her a little bit more by getting her that reflects the above qualities.
   

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This article was first published on 24th November 2014 and updated on November 25th, 2014 at 10:33 am

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