If and when a man or woman finds him or herself in a new relationship that is promising, or even for a man or woman who is already married, it is somewhat difficult to have many friends around. Don’t get me wrong, people still find a way to keep all the friends they had in their ‘single’ days close (but it is never always the same). Usually, when people get married, priorities change instantly. You either find yourself worrying about your home, your living standard, your kids and everything family-related. As a married woman, I find myself thinking more about my job and family than about my friends and their personal problems. That doesn’t mean that I do not care for them – Remember how I said priorities change?
I believe that men can relate more to this post than women. Often times, my husband gets calls from his buddies and the conversation starts the same way, ‘You have forgotten about your friends since you got married’ and his response is always the same, ‘No I haven’t, but I have a family now and more responsibilities to take care of’. He is not wrong. A man can only be rich in 2 ways. He can literally have lots of friends or he can have lots of money. The two cannot co-exist together. He can choose to focus on his family and make enough money to care for them or he can focus on the affairs on his friends and become that “Go-to guy” for his friends. (The keyword here is
FOCUS) – he has a choice to become that “Go-to” guy that they call on a Friday night to turn up for/with them, that “Go-to” guy that they call on when they get into trouble and they need someone to bail them out, that “Go-to” guy that accompanies his friends to gatherings or meetings –Yes! Do you now see how having lots of friends and having lots of money can’t go together? They both require a huge amount of attention and you can’t afford to split it and give them both the same amount. One can argue that when one has lots of money, one will automatically have lots of friends flocking around him, but you have to ask yourself this, ‘how many of those people flocking around you are your REAL friends?’
I saw a movie a while back titled “Kidnapping Mr. Heineken” – it is supposed to be a true life story on how the multi-billionaire and CEO of Heineken brewery was kidnapped. The ransom paid is rumoured to be the highest paid ransom in history. Now, the kidnappers were friends – pretty close “ride or die” buddies – they had planned and executed a perfect kidnap. They got the ransom money; all five of them, but the problem started when one of the kidnappers wanted to put his family first before the safety of his counterparts. None of them was going to have him jeopardize their freedom all because he had a fiancé and a baby on the way. This bunch of loyalists – who are his friends – saw themselves as his new family and expected him to accept that (especially after committing such a huge crime together) but this dude wasn’t having none of it. What is my point?
If you have good friends who have your back irrespective of what the case might be, you can actually be classified as rich! If you think about the quote and cliché, ‘good friends are hard to come by’… then you should know that ‘good friends’ are almost priceless because they are not linked to you by a determinant factor. They will do anything to make you comfortable. Now, money on the other hand, can attract some friends and even keep them around you for as long as possible but money cannot make them ‘good friends’. Do you get the twist now?
I believe everyone knows a rich kid somewhere, but you see that rich kid? Ask him this question, “would you rather be Cash Rich or Rich in Friends?’ He would never pick both because his belief is that one completes the other – and he is not wrong! The fact is you can only have one – whether or not one completes the other is always the bonus.
Photo Credit – Erniesha Tibs.
About the Writer: Erniesha Tibs is a wife, a fashion lover, a student, a radio host and reality blogger. As always, I strongly believe in respecting people. RESPECTING OTHERS is what got me this far in Life. Follow me on instagram @ernieshatibs; www.everydaytibs.blogspot.com and www.facebook.com/Everydaytibs
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This article was first published on 27th March 2015
Comments (9)
uhhhh.absolutely true..good friends are hard to come by but most times,loyaty and priorities brings about conflict of intrests just like the group of friends you talked about.
in the end, being rich is not rated by monetary worth alone,it is a sum total of what makes a person.
Wow I’m with you Mama T
Thumbs up tibs… Nice post..
This is a no brainer! A classic case of not having it all, good friends are hard to come by but I think a lot of people would go for lots of money over friendship cos no friend is totally loyal or trust worthy. Everyone has a price which could be monetary or otherwise.
Tibs, I love the way you fixed your experience into this write up. All of this is true. Weldone bae
It’s hard to have both, I know its difficult to find real good friends but i believe we still have real good friends. Nice write up Tibs of life.
Yeah, most pple who are rich don’t have close friends they just have close servants, i’ve kinda noticed this 2, there are stages in this life and as we grow, we tend to make those people that are directly linked to us as our top priority. Nice write u Tibs!
I need to share this with the “you don’t love me anymore” friends.
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