The Nigerian Mentality Series: Hello, Meet my Husband’s Girlfriend

Ladies and gentlemen, married Nigerian men are cheating on their wives. “Ah, my sistah that’s old news” is one of the responses I get frequently in response to this. I am not insinuating that all married men in Nigeria cheat but a high percentage of married men in Nigeria are cheating, and it is getting out of hand. Back in the day, men at least cheated discreetly out of respect for their wives. Nowadays, married men openly cheat on their wives. The social insensitivity to their wives is alarming. One can argue that cheating is cheating; it does not matter if it is done openly or discreetly. However, men’s act of publicly cheating on their wives illuminates how they view women in our society. Adultery is a threat to the foundation of our society. A lot of us laugh about it, but it is not a laughing matter. Do you know how many children are born out of wedlock to these men? Are these men taking care of these children? Family is the building block of our society. If the very core of our society is threatened, what hope does Nigeria have in building a stronger society and better leaders? Our children are the leaders of tomorrow. What legacy are you leaving for your children? Pain is obviously subjective. How are these women dealing with the pain of their husbands creeping outside their marital home? Somehow society frowns on her for leaving her marital home when they clearly know of her husband’s extracurricular activities. Society has subconsciously given married men a pass to cheat on their wives. Women get married with the knowledge that their husbands will cheat and they have to deal with it. Mothers, teach your young ladies to have a dream larger than being a housewife. There’s nothing wrong with being a housewife; however, times are changing and one must change with time. Due to the rise of extramarital affairs by men, young women are called to rise and be independent for themselves. This independence in today’s culture requires more than just a pretty face but a pretty brain, which is acquired through higher education. The fact that young women are aspiring to be housewives may be the very ideology that is enabling this behaviour. From my observation, women who aspire to be just housewives in life are willing to tolerate anything to protect their lifelong dream. This in turn gives their husbands the confidence they need to have extracurricular activities with other women. It could also be that many of these cheating husbands feel they did their wives a favour by marrying them, and therefore their unfaithful actions are justified. The reality is that married men are publicly disrespecting their wives and this should be concerning to women in Nigeria. We have lost respect from men. Our society will continuously treat us as the underdogs until we fight for our place in society. A man cheats and everyone claps their hands for him but if the reverse occurs, the lady is condemned by society. We will never see our better Nigeria, if we don’t change our Nigerian mentality. Our better Nigeria starts here.   About The Writer: Edikan is a Nigerian-American blogger at 9jagirl4real.com. She loves God, people and life in general. She is crazy about her family, traveling, books and helping people. Still curious? Check out 9jagirl4real.com for more interesting articles on Nigeria and America.    

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This article was first published on 2nd March 2015

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