Q&A with Pastors Paul and Ifeanyi Adefarasin at HOTR Singles Summit Part 1

Last week Saturday, I got the privilege of sitting in on what was truly a phenomenal event.  The House On The Rock Church in Lekki was hosting a singles summit themed Transformational Relationships, and even though it took place on a Saturday morning, the turnout was amazing with over a hundred young people in the room. Everyone was all smiles  and eager to “learn, re-learn and unlearn” with Pastors Paul and Ifeanyi Adefarasin who left no stones unturned on the issue of relationships. Hot topics covered included sex, money, divine purpose, handling “runz blockers”,  homosexuality, blood type incompatibility, divine calling to singleness, just to name a few. Read on for special highlights from a very interactive Q&A session with the pastors and people in the audience, hosted by I.K. Osakioduwa: Q: Is it good to invite a lady over to your house to know if she can cook, especially if you don’t play with food? Pst. Paul: The best way to find out is ask her… (but) it should never be just you and her on the dining table. I’m old school, IK’s not. You get two benefits from asking that question. You find out if she has honest assessments about her abilities and herself. So if she says “I can. I can really cook”and you go there and she’s a disappointment, then you know she lied. Pst. Ifeanyi: Also, if you ask that question, she’ll recognize that food is important to you and if she can’t cook, she’ll know she should learn to cook, if not for you but the next person.   Q: Is it really bad to not keep open, free relationships (platonic)? Pst. Paul: She’s my sister that I’m dating. I will not sleep with her, I will not kiss her except maybe on the cheek in a holy attitude. I am open with my sister. I can trust my sister and my sister can trust me. And that means there have to be boundaries that concern the physical, or emotional…. The things I say must not get to a point where they abuse or seduce physical activity on a sexual or near sexual level. Pst Ifeanyi: You cannot have platonic relationships that are committal with several people. We’re not saying it’s okay for you to date five different people because you’re not doing anything physical with them.   Q: People say sex is like a selection process for marriage, even tongue-talking Christians. You’re a 25-year-old Christian girl, trying to be celibate. You meet a brother, connect spiritually, emotionally and mentally. However, it’s surprising that he wants to have sex before marriage. Pst. Paul: Which man doesn’t want to have sex? If my body did not want to have sex with my wife before I married her, then I couldn’t be seriously prospecting. But there’s a difference between your body’s will and your spiritual will, involving your renewed mind’s will. If your mind is not renewed in the Word of God, what your body wants, your body will get and your heart will grieve for what offends your spirit. Once he starts dating you, he wants to get in your pants, but his spirit and renewed soul don’t. Here’s how you determine if he’s mature – if he cannot control his horse, then it’s not worth riding on his saddle. Q. (What if) the spiritual guy tells you, “There’s grace available”? Pst. Paul: The so-called spiritual brother doesn’t understand Grace. Grace is not a license for you to sin, it gives you the power to walk away from sin and to overcome it. The real evidence of Grace is maturity, growth. Sin shall not have dominion over you if you’re walking in Grace. Grace has fruit. When you teach grace, the reprobate mind sees it as license to sin. Grace forgives but doesn’t take it forgiveness for granted.   Q:[There are] Christian women who had sex before they got married but it didn’t affect their marriages. So why do we do have to lose out on good guys all because of sex?   To be continued…      

---

You might also like:

• Embracing Faith: Understanding the Meaning of Easter
• Beyond Butterflies: Questions to Ask Before Committing
• Why Easter Is the Most Significant Celebration in the Christian Faith
• The Best Easter Treats and Recipes to Enjoy with Your Family

This article was first published on 15th August 2015 and updated on August 25th, 2015 at 10:18 pm

---

---

Comments (1)