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The wedding jitters, delicate fitting into that breathtaking dress, exchange of heartfelt vows and the long-awaited exit from singlehood into holy wedlock is finally over and the natural perception of everlasting marital bliss, instant bonding with the mother-in-law and never having to worry about making babies, all seem believable.

Your spouse or better said, husband, has proven to have all it takes to keep his beautiful wife happy. He was always on hand to open the door and even listened to all your ramblings without being judgmental. But months after tying the knot, he appears to do less of what you genuinely expected and soon, doubt and conflict become quite frequent.

My dear, fret less and rein in the emotions. Your husband hasn’t necessarily failed in fulfilling certain commitments but presumed to be everything but a man. Although it isn’t uncommon for most wives to expect their spouses to exceed their expectations, still, let’s take it down a notch and learn to manage their permissible flaws.

Having made tonnes of mistakes, I humbly present some misconceptions about the other half.

1. He can’t make any mistakes Sometimes, this is what we hope for but forget to make allowance for setbacks. I’m afraid; you will have to because no one is that calculated. Some men are unlikely to admit when they’re wrong, until years into the marriage. Provided his actions are not life threatening or detrimental to your wellbeing, please avoid rubbing it in his face. No need to bruise his ego or recall past mistakes. They do know when they’ve goofed.

2. He must meet all my needs If you were used to him meeting every single financial, emotional, physical and spiritual need then suddenly, the buoyant proceeds begin to trickle. Just remember, he’s not God and therefore, will struggle to fit into such omnipotent shoes. You might have to learn to shoulder some responsibility and especially, in the area of prayer.

3. He must love only me He loves you but will always have a special place in his heart for his mother, so there’s really no need to compete for his attention. By God’s grace, both of you have a lifetime to explore and enjoy each other, but it isn’t the same for his mother. Also, the affection is likely to be slightly overbearing if his mum is a widow. Therefore he might endeavour to shower more care because he’s aware that tomorrow may never come.

4. He dares not look at other women I wish I didn’t have to conclude on a distasteful note, but truth be told, most men either innocently glance or intentionally stare at other women. Sometimes, it’s quite harmless especially if the object of interest is attractive.

Nevertheless, whether reflex or spasm cause the gaze, it’s still quite unwelcoming. Sadly, there isn’t any particular remedy for this issue, so you’ll probably have to learn how best to manage the situation.

No matter how long you dated, marriage will reveal how much of a Romeo, your beau is. Nothing is scripted, and there are no Oscars, up for grabs. He is, what he is, a man.

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This article was first published on 18th September 2016


Ngozika is an ardent writer with a knack for composing heartfelt articles. A master's degree holder in Housing Management and Policy from the University of Greenwich, England. But above all, a joyful wife and miraculously, sane mother of two brilliant boys. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @obi77ng

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