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By Tania If you’re familiar with relationship advice and ‘rules’, the word ‘trust’ is definitely not new to you. Wherever you find ‘7 magical keys to a lasting relationship’, or ‘Ingredients to make your relationship work’ or any similar topic, it is very likely that trust would be listed as vital; most times topping the list in terms of importance. But I can’t help thinking the term ‘trust’ is overrated. Okay; so someone has been of good behaviour through your years of interaction, or maybe not, but by the guidance of your instincts, you bestow the almighty gift of trust on them. You have only ended up doing one of two things. 1. Handed over to one human the permission to hurt you deeply 2. Put them in a position where to do wrong by you, knowingly or unknowingly (to be human), is to be evil Most times, it’s all of the above. I read a quote by a friend on a social media platform once that says; “To say ‘I trust you’ is a much better thing to say than to say ‘I love you’.” No sir! It would be right at this point to state that Love is more than a feeling; it’s an action word. The English dictionary is lacking a proper definition for love. Maybe because love is beyond the expression in words, but a whole concept in itself. So it definitely cannot be described in one line or two. The dictionary refers to it as ‘a strong feeling of affection or sexual attraction’. Knowing that feelings are fickle, we would be undermining the essence of love by referring to it as a feeling. For example, if I’m mad at someone I love this minute, my feelings towards them at that minute certainly changed. It’s now anger. I could feel twenty different ways about a person in a day, and for each time that feeling isn’t affectionate, we most likely don’t feel ‘in love’. That tells me that love is more than just a feeling. The Bible so far has been the only known book to describe love for what it is. Love is stable. The characteristics of love are spelled out in 1st Corinthians 13: 4-8. So you can easily identify what love isn’t. The Bible also went on to say that God is Love. If God says to not put our trust in man but in him, then love doesn’t want us overpowering our beneficiaries with trust. Trust on the other hand is according to the dictionary, ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.’ Merely reading the intense words, I can’t help thinking that is immense responsibility to place on the shoulders of a human, characterized by flaws and imperfection. Put your trust in God. Put your trust in love; Not human. 1 Corinthians 13:7 AMP
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
People say Trust is like a piece of paper, when rumpled, even if you straighten it out again, you’ll always see the lines from the damage the rumple caused. Love says the direct opposite. I’m not saying everyone can go ahead and be with someone with zero integrity. I’m saying, there’s only so much you can see and then love has to cover up for the rest. Love says, I think the best of you (you still be a faithful and supportive spouse, etc), I  wish you surmount all life’s challenges as regards our relationship (temptations to flirt, lie, cheat). I’m also aware that things may not go as planned (you may lie, cheat, say hurtful things to me in moments of anger in spite of your impeccable character). But whatever happens, I won’t waver. Trying not to break someone’s trust is like starving yourself to lose weight. As soon you lose a little weight, you just want to relax and you’ll end to eating the things you dropped. But when someone genuinely loves you, you know whatever happens, “they’ve got my back.” Overtime, the general response to love is you want to give back. Then you are compelled to change. It’s like a total lifestyle overhaul and the foundation is strong. Please don’t tell me you trust me. Just love me.  
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This article was first published on 26th January 2014 and updated on February 3rd, 2014 at 3:54 pm

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