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No one wants to witness having their partners go through grief. It makes one look helpless and powerless over the problem. Worse is the fact that healing rarely happens right away, and a word as harmless as “don’t cry” could disrupt their healing process as the emotions can be very fragile at that moment. To avoid mishaps such as this, follow the following steps.
Give Them Space To Cry
Firstly, allow them space and privacy to cry it all out. If your partner’s hurt is causing heavy tears, then they need to purge out the painful emotion in order to move on. It is something they have to go through, so let your partner know that it is safe to break down in front of you.Assure Them It Will Get Better
It hits better when you assure them that things will get much better and that the pain will not last. No matter how much they bicker and rant about the cause of the hurt, be the optimistic one. Two pessimists in a grieving situation will only be too toxic for any healing to take place. If it gets worse or when your partner begins to miss work or fall into depression, that may be the right time to bring a therapist into the matter for support and advice.Avoid References To Their Hurt
Avoid innuendos, sarcasm, cliches, and other statements that are referenced to the cause of the grieve, no matter how funny they may sound. When talking to a hurting partner, be sensitive by thinking of their possible reactions to your words. Words like “They’re in a better place.” “God works in mysterious ways.” “Look on the bright side.” “Everything happens for a reason” do not help in any way and could only serve as a reminder of the misfortune in question.Sign up to the Connect Nigeria daily newsletter
Be Present Even At A Distance
You do not need to be always present around your grieving partner, as it could be overwhelming. However, you should keep a manageable distance to give them a certain amount of privacy while making periodic suicidal watches. If you do not have the time, get hidden cameras, to detect any hurtful step by your grieving partner. It might seem like stalking now, but that might be the only option left.Be Gentle With Touches
Gentle touches which may include soft huddles, pecks, cuddles and pats may seem insignificant but when coming from a lover, it goes a long way in hastening the healing process. When your partner realises how supportive you are in a grieve, love blooms and suppresses the pain.Be Their Mouthpiece
A grieving person might not always know the right words to say. Being a partner, you will understand what your partner may likely say if in the right mind. Be your partner’s mouthpiece when confounded to speak or a simple “…not in the right state to speak” might suffice. Grief can paralyse an individual, but having a supportive partner is a great crutch and will only cement the bonds of a relationship than mar it. Featured Image Source: ShutterstockGot a suggestion? Contact us: editor@connectnigeria.com
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