5 Principles of Failure That Work Every Time

Please, all this talk of wanting success and all just has to end. It’s time to face the facts. Life still continues even when you choose to take a backseat, so why not enjoy the ride in the slow lane?  We all know that not everyone can come first in class, so don’t bother aiming for it. Second place will do. True success in life is one well enjoyed, so let’s sip our Apple juice and share what really counts if we’re to live life to the fullest. 1. Flock: “Eagles soar alone, while pigeons flock below.” I can’t remember who made this statement – and don’t really care to be frank – but it points out something that many people miss on this their fictitious quest to success. If we’re being honest with ourselves, successful people are very lonely. Those of us who choose to be otherwise, we’re the ones having a laugh in life. We hang out with our peeps all day long – in person, on Facebook and on Whatsapp. We also go out every weekend. With all that work, you’re too tired to do anything else, so it’s best to just go with the flow.  The secret is to make sure nobody in the group is aspiring for success too. After all, can two walk together unless they agree? 2. Be impulsive: A plan? For what? There’s no need to plan when everything is going to fall into place anyway. How do I know it will? I just do; I can sense it. All those business plans people are making are absolutely useless, trust me. But if you must make one, don’t show anyone, especially the professionals. They could steal your idea! Just keep it to yourself, and as I said earlier go with the flow. Things like career plans are also a waste of time and mental energy. That’s what you’re supposed to be using to flock, remember? 3. Package well: In Naija, it’s all about the packaging. Hang out with the right people, wear the right (borrowed) clothes and you’ll find yourself up on the social ladder in no time. That’s where true success lies if you ask me. Who cares if you’re not that knowledgeable? None of the socialites are and they’re making names for themselves on Linda Ikeji. You should know, after all, you’re on that site every waking moment. You have to fit in with crowd at all costs, literally. Borrow, steal and beg if you have to  until you buy that designer bag or flashy car that’s guaranteed to earn you the rep you truly deserve. #FakeItTillYouMakeIt 4. Take your precious time: Slow and steady wins the race, people!  Where are you rushing to? Take your time in life, no one’s chasing you. Yes, you have an idea or dream, but you have a whole life to live. And you’re young too- yes, being thirty something is young-ish. Take time out to play now so when you’re old and gray, you can look back and say you’ve lived well. You Only Live Once o! I have said my own. 5. Be your own boss: You must never be anybody’s boy boy or Ekaette in this lifetime.  After all, how can you, a whole YOU, call somebody Sah? No, that’s not your portion in Jesus Name. You must do your own thing, be your own boss as soon as you can because learning or working under someone is for olodos. You have a brain, remember? You don’t need anyone to teach you things. Everything will fall into place while you drive your big car and flock with friends that your stance against planning saved you time for.         Photo Credit: NdaniTV      

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This article was first published on 4th July 2015 and updated on July 7th, 2015 at 10:33 am

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