What Lies Beneath: Recognising Your Self-Worth

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt

Self-worth is the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. It is that inner feeling that enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents. Self-worth comes from positive self-imaging, and it is something that we proactively build for ourselves. The way we view ourselves directly affects everything we do, like a domino effect.  People with high self-worth are the most desired and desirable people in society. Self-worth doesn’t happen while we wait passively. When we leave it up to external factors we build our self-esteem on sandy ground. How much we like ourselves depends on our level of self-dominion. Building self worth is very essential and healthy for one’s well-being. Your level of self-worth is directly proportional to your level of productivity and happiness. So how can we maintain the beliefs we have in ourselves, such that we live and get to our peak without doubt, fear and disbelief? In order to build your self-esteem, you must establish yourself as the master of your own life. Below are some factors to put into consideration. What is your take about yourself: Never underestimate the power of your mindset towards yourself and your views about yourself. The way you perceive yourself, the things you say and how you represent yourself, gradually turn out to be your reality. If you think less of yourself, ridiculing your worth, and making light of your talents in the face of others, then you will come across as self-effacing, low in self-worth. Some people may view it as humility, but it is self-denial and it diminishes your presence. Always identify and celebrate the fact that you are a valuable person, equal to everyone else, and that your talents and thoughts are unique and worthy. Follow and trust your feelings: Learning to listen, follow and rely upon your own feelings and not automatically responding to the feelings of other people, is a prerequisite for self-worth .When you trust your own feelings, you will realize that when demands are placed upon you, you try to see thing from both views, i.e. yours and that of others, not just how they feel. Self-worth plummets when you let others make decisions for you. Initially it may look like an easy way out, but gradually you become a shadow of yourself.  Make others feel good about themselves: When you help other people feel better about themselves and like themselves more, it will make you feel good about yourself. Teach them something new, share a word or two that will be inspiring, put a smile of some one’s face, be a reason for  some body’s happiness. Genuine compliments go a long way, by telling them what you admire about them and what can make them better persons. Life is beautiful when some things are shared. Beyond your job and earnings. See your self-worth beyond the horizons of your job or your earnings. Value yourself in spite of of your job and earnings. Some communities or societies value people by what they do rather than by who they are. There is a great peril in underestimating your self-worth by attaching it to earnings and job status. Never equate yourself with what you earn or your job title. Creating a comparison standard could easily make one lose self-worth, because you might feel that you fall below a certain standard. Self-worth conditioning: Never accept other people’s opinions of you; such act clinches your will power on the mercy of others making your decisions conditional. If you try to live up to the image that you think others want to you to be, you automatically lose self-worth. This could be detrimental if not corrected; because some people don’t have a control over their lives , their career choice, career path, place to live and study are chosen for them, and in the end they realize their lives are like pawn pieces on a chessboard. People with healthy self-worth will share their insights and learning with you, and will be willing to guide you around life’s ups and down because the understand the power of choice. Always remind yourself that you’re a great person, special, wonderful, lovable, and loved. Tell yourself that you matter. Realistic self pep-talks are great, and affirming your self-worth openly to yourself can be a very good way to start changing the internal negativity. Treat yourself with care, compassion, and respect. Affirmative talk helps boost self worth, like a reminder to acknowledge the fact that you matter. Remember only you can give yourself that esteem boost needed.

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This article was first published on 20th June 2013

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