Trust in Relationships

By Oritsegbubemi Peace Pessu

This is an issue that is applicable to every relationship in life, but in this case I’m going to limited it to the man-woman relationship. Trust is the treasure of our daily lives but generally, trust is gradually disappearing. I ask myself “why have we become so suspicious that we cannot enter into meaningful relationships with each other?”  When we were born we were taught the essentiality of trusting each other but as we grow older, our childhood innocence gives way to calculations with which there’s no place for trust. Trust gives strength and vitality to relationships, bringing inner happiness which is priceless. Trust keeps you in a positive state of mind, boosting your self-confidence. The feeling of believing in each other is electrifying and provides a sense of security, giving you the zeal to fight the vagaries of life. Trusting each other gives you a sense of belonging and deep bonding signifying that you are united to fight the battles ahead. Trust is synonymous with warmth or a breath of fresh air in relationships. Considering that we live in fear and tension, in our shells and are unable to share with each other, trust brings us out of that situation that inhibits the growth of our personality. Building trust may not be easy and definitely takes a lot of conscious effort. In nurturing our relationships with care, we should not allow our egos destroy it. Now trust helps us with that as it helps us handle the contradictions we find the more we explore each other. After all, most problems in relationships result from our difficulty to open up to each other which leaves the tendency of doubt; doubt leading to suspicion; suspicion, jealousy; jealousy, mistrust. Balance and maturity in thoughts and actions always provide an avenue for transparency. For this we ought to shed away the habit of fault-finding with each other even on slight pretext but instead identify the positive traits and strengths, enhancing our credibility; this is a trust builder. Another thing we should do to build trust is to stop indulging in unhealthy competition by trying to outwit each other and instead master the art of rejoicing in the happiness of one another. We must realize that NO ONE is prefect and that we should build trust that transcends the backdrops of limitations in our personalities. Mistrust is a reflection of our inadequacies and imperfection in handling our relationship with finesse.  In reforming yourselves, give time to your relationship and think of ways to strengthen it. Trust will follow naturally. As a final food for thought here’s a little story to illustrate the true meaning of trust; a little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.” In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours.

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This article was first published on 19th November 2012

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