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As annoying as this truth is, being with one person forever will get boring at some point. At several points, in fact. The excitement you experienced when your love was brand new and you couldn’t get enough of each other, will not sustain itself. Nobody remains on that high forever, unless they fan the flame. How do you fan the flame? How do you make sure you always have something to say, something to do together, and you’re never tired of each other? Whether you’re the one with the low boredom threshold, or you’re the one wombats to deal with a partner who is easily bored, here are 3 questions you can ask yourself your partner, to break the routine and infuse life into your marriage again.

How can I have fun myself?

Excitement is contagious, and as trite as it may sound, it begins with you. Whether it’s making new friends, learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby, or even getting a new haircut/hairstyle, the more fun you’re having yourself, the more fun you are to be around, and you can actually start a virtuous cycle this way. Same applies to your partner.

How can we have fun together?

If there are things you both find enjoyable, now is the time to be deliberate about them. You can play a sport together, volunteer together, or even get on a project together. Choose a project you’ll both enjoy and be committed to, and say goodbye to boredom. Being part of a project together is not only a wonderful opportunity for bonding, it can actually generate incredible sexual energy.

How can we get to know each other better?

No matter how long you’ve been with your husband or wife, you can never know all there is to know. There’s always more, and the more you peel back those layers the greater intimacy and excitement you’ll experience. Can we spend so much time apart, and what little time we have together peering into our devices, then turn around to complain we’re bored in marriage? Give each other genuine, undivided attention for a change and watch boredom fly out the window. This is the person you chose, the one you used to chat and talk with on the phone for hours and couldn’t wait to marry. Dialogue is to love as blood is to the body. Whatever the level you’re on, questions are the keys to unlock the next level. This is especially true if you’re married to someone who isn’t a natural talker. What fears does your wife wrestle with the most and how does she deal with them? If your husband could bring any former leader from the past back to run Nigeria today, who would it be? If your wife could start a side hustle, what kind of hustle would she choose? If your husband could live in any other era, past or future, which one would he choose? What are their reasons? When you find yourself slipping into a rut, choose one of these questions and make time to run with the answer. Your marriage will be bursting with excitement in no time!

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This article was first published on 26th September 2018 and updated on December 3rd, 2018 at 2:37 pm


Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at]

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