Isn’t life very interesting? God created us as unique human beings with different personalities and desires, yet we have found a way to believe that our way of doing things is the best. People rarely admit to being wrong, even when it is so obvious that they are wrong. But when it’s time find fault in others, they are very quick to expose all the flaws without leaving a single stone unturned.
Why are we so quick to judge others especially when we do not know where they are coming from? The truth is that behind every individual is an accumulation of their experiences in life. We are different and we react to things differently. That’s a fact that will never change. You cannot expect people to behave the way you would behave in a particular situation. And even when your way looks like the best, you have no right to judge people who choose to go the other way.
Do you know that every time you judge someone, you lose a precious opportunity to be a blessing to that person? As an undergraduate in school, tales of girls sleeping around were rife. It was always the foundation for juicy gist. I saw how other girls judged these girls who were sleeping around just because, somehow, their dirty laundry got aired in public. But then some of these other girls were doing just the same thing behind closed doors. Even for those who were ‘saints’, they chose to stay away from the girls with a bad image to avoid getting contaminated I guess.
There was this particular girl who for some reason chose to put all her personal business on social media. I mean, she got really personal and she wasn’t ashamed of what she was doing. Needless to say, she didn’t have many friends and people mocked her right in her face a lot of times. By chance or divine orchestration, I don’t know how, we became friends on Facebook and she was a really lovely girl. I got to know a different side of her; one that took a back seat to the bad image of herself that she was portraying online. Soon enough, we began to hang out. I really enjoyed hanging out with her because she was real but my friends were alarmed. They never said it openly but what their reaction said was “How can you be associating with a prostitute?”
One day when I was reflecting on the whole situation, I had to ask myself “What makes me better than this so called prostitute?” The fact that I’m not sleeping around or the fact that the sins I commit appear small when placed beside fornication? I was a chronic liar. It was second nature for me. So could a liar claim to be a greater ‘saint’ than a fornicator when it came to the gravity of sin? There is nowhere in by Bible that God says one sin is greater than the other. Sin is sin. End of discussion.
Another thing I realised was that the girl in question wasn’t a bad person. She just made bad choices. These choices were as a result of her past experiences. I had to ask her why she was putting all her business out there on social media and she said “Because I’m showing my man love.” She never felt love growing up and she found validation in her relationships. So she did everything in her power to keep her boyfriends satisfied. We called it sinning or being promiscuous, she called it having the feeling of being loved.
I wish I could say that I ministered to this young lady and got her to accept Christ but I didn’t do that. I didn’t know Christ for myself at that time. I didn’t say anything to discourage her; neither did I say anything to make her stop. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have used the platform of our friendship to sow some positive seeds in her life. I would have shown her a much better path to love; the most excellent way and that is through Christ. I would have told her that she didn’t need to sleep with men to gain that feeling of love. She was already loved by Someone greater and better than any man who could ever love her. I would have prayed with her and for her.
Be an agent of change. Don’t be quick to push people away because they share different values from you. Yes I agree that it is important to mind the company you keep but do you know you can have a positive impact on people’s lives without getting too close to them? Make it your aim to treat everyone with dignity. Respect people and their choices. Where they make bad choices, instead of judging them why don’t you be a light and lead them to a better path? They don’t have to take that path but it will be on record that you played a part in trying to transform their lives.
Every time you feel an urge to judge someone, remember that you are not perfect yourself. You are a work in progress just like the person beside you.
About the Writer: Adedoyin Jaiyesimi is a Writer, Media Content Creator and Brand Manager. The various publications she has written for include Y! Magazine (now Y! Africa), Discovery, Pride Magazine Nigeria, Butterscotch magazine amongst others. She currently holds the position of Brand Communications Manager at Victor Adeyemi Ministries and she is also the founder of LRouge Media, an editorial and brand consultancy company which provides content writing and editing services for business websites, magazines and blogs. When she is not creating content, you can find her in church doing the work of her Father. She tweets @msdoyeen and blogs at
http://adedoyinjaiyesimi.wordpress.com/
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This article was first published on 20th May 2015
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