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  If you’re in a serious relationship and considering marriage, financial conversations with your intended spouse should be a top priority. Studies show that financial issues are one of the leading causes of divorce worldwide.
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Money can make or break a relationship. It influences lifestyle choices. That’s why you need to talk about money with your intended spouse. If you avoid it, money-related misunderstandings can escalate into conflicts that threaten the foundation of your relationship or future marriage. One thing I have come to observe in my years of working as a coach is that the reason many avoid these conversations is either that they don’t understand the importance or that they don’t know how to approach them with their partner. This is why I’ve written this post. To help you understand why and how to have these conversations with your partner.

Why Talking About Money is Essential

  1. Prevents Financial Surprises

Imagine getting married and discovering your spouse has a huge debt you never knew about. That could shake your trust. Discussing finances early helps both of you lay all your financial cards on the table—debts, assets, spending habits, and financial goals.

  1. Aligns Your Financial Goals

As individuals, we have different goals and aspirations. Disputes arise in relationships and marriages when couples have divergent goals or views that they did not align on early on. For instance, do you both want to own a house in five years? What are your views on investments and savings? These discussions help ensure that you and your partner are on the same page about financial priorities.

  1. Avoids Conflicts Over Money Management

Who pays the bills? Should finances be combined or kept separate? These are some issues that we all have different opinions and views about, and if not discussed early, disagreements can lead to serious marital conflicts. Sitting down together and setting clear expectations now will save you both unnecessary stress later.

  1. Builds Financial Trust and Transparency

Trust is an important component of any relationship. Talking about money openly with your partner fosters transparency, ensuring that you two feel secure about your financial future.
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How to Have The Money Talk With Your Intended Spouse

  1. Pick the Right Time and Place

Talking about money shouldn’t be a heated or stressful conversation. Choose a relaxed setting where you both feel comfortable discussing finances without distractions.

  1. Start With Your Financial Background

Begin by sharing your financial story. How did you grow up understanding money? Were you taught to save or spend freely? Understanding each other’s financial mindset helps you navigate money matters better.

  1. Ask Each Other the Right Questions

Last year, to help intending couples have the right conversations in their dating or courting stage, I wrote a book titled Beyond Butterflies: Questions to Ask Before Committing to a Love Relationship. In it, I highlighted essential financial questions couples should discuss, including:
  • How comfortable are you discussing finances (income, expenses, savings, and investments)?
  • What are your financial goals, and how can I support them?
  • Do you believe in combining finances, or should we keep them separate?
  • What’s your view on pulling resources together for business or investment?
  • Who should take care of the bills?
  • Should partners send each other money, and if so, how often? These questions help uncover financial expectations and potential deal-breakers.

  1. Discuss Debt and Savings

Ask about existing loans, debts, or unpaid obligations. It’s better to know now than be shocked later. Also, talk about saving habits. Do you both have an emergency fund? Are you open to joint savings?

  1. Set Financial Roles and Boundaries

Who will manage the household budget? Will you both contribute equally to bills, or will one person handle certain expenses? Clarifying financial roles removes assumptions and fosters harmony.

  1. Create a Financial Plan Together

When you’ve asked and clarified each other’s financial journey and expectations, it is important to plan your financial future together by setting long-term goals. This could include owning a house, starting a business, a family emergency fund, or retirement savings.

Concluding Thoughts

Money plays a significant role in relationships, and avoiding the conversation won’t make financial issues disappear. The earlier you talk about money with your spouse, the better prepared you’ll be for the future.
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If you’re not sure where to start, my book Beyond Butterflies: Questions to Ask Before Committing to a Love Relationship provides over 100 thought-provoking questions to help you navigate these important discussions, not just with money but other important areas. You can get a copy of the e-book by clicking here.
Did you find this article useful? Contact us: editor@connectnigeria.com
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This article was first published on 29th March 2025
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victor-ifegwu-mbonu

Ifegwu-Mbonu Victor is a Personal Growth and Leadership Trainer who provides training and coaching to individuals and organizations.

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