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I recently learnt that a great marriage is really not possible for lazy people. As someone who identifies as “lazy”, this understandably gave me cause for concern.

As 2016 came to an end and I started laying out my goals for 2017, I wondered how I would find the energy required to move my marriage from good to great. The thought of it alone made me want to lie down.

My brain could not argue with the fact that being a good lover requires energy, as does being a good partner, so I was faced with two options: say goodbye to laziness or be content with my marriage the way it is.

Then, one morning, a third option started to form in my mind. What if I didn’t have to do a lot more? What difference could it make? I would simply commit to going the extra mile each day, and doing the things I already do with more creativity, more finesse, more affection, more enthusiasm…?  It sounded totally doable to me, so I started researching it and talking to people to see who had tried it and what effect it had. Amazing stuff!

Going the extra mile is a proven principle in the world of business and management. It’s what sets great brands apart. Apparently, it sets great marriages apart too.

In life, the big successes are actually the sum of small ones. So if I can commit to making my marriage a little better every day, then it will be better each week, each month, every year for as long as we both live.

It’s your wife that makes you a husband, it’s your husband that makes you a wife.

So, in what areas does your marriage need more work? Decide right now that first thing in the morning and last thing at night, going the extra mile will be on your mind – in fact, not just for your spouse but your clients and friends as well. Going the extra mile is the easiest way I know to become an excellent human being.

It’s your wife that makes you a husband, and it’s your husband that makes you a wife. So if we’re going to do this thing we might as well be purposeful about it. Nurturing the marriage you already have is less expensive than divorcing and starting a new marriage.

What “extra” can you give your husband today? Can you come up with 3 ways to go the extra mile for your wife right now? What would she love, or love more of? How can you make his life a little easier today? What has she asked you to do that you can do even better than she expects? What has he not asked you to do that would pleasantly surprise him if you did?

When a couple commits to going the extra mile for each other every day, they’re bringing more and more of heaven into their home one day at a time.

Of course with each extra mile I go, I’m moving away from laziness every day and actually building the energy I need to be the kind of wife and lover I want to be. Win!

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This article was first published on 12th January 2017


Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at]

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