Being patient is a perk until it’s not. While it is important for people to be patient with their partners, to make important lifelong decisions such as commitment in relationships, it is also important for people to identify commitment-phobic partners.
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The reason is that one can avoid investing time, energy and resources into relationships
that would not work regardless of effort.
Many persons suffer from the heartbreak of disappointment from partners that they believed would change but because people hardly change, their expectations are cut short. This article would give a list of how to identify a commitment-phobic partner and avoid them.
Level Of Enthusiasm
One understated habit of commitment-phobic partners is that they are highly enthusiastic at the start of a relationship and seem to be always available. Many naïve people look at this with rose coloured lens until the enthusiasm begins to wane. When this happens, they withdraw and may turn the tables so that it is the other party that does the chasing.
Nature Of Conversation
Actions speak louder than words but are careful when both do not align. For commitment phobic-partners, they might act committed and say things leaning towards non-committal or may act disinterested but behave in ways that keep stringing their partners on.
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Worst-case scenario, they ask their partners to ‘go with the flow’. In all honestly, it is not as though they do not like their partners but they are more selfish than they admit and do not consider commitment with the person important.
One thing to always watch out for is their track record with their ex. Did the past relation end on a good note? How long did this relationship last? This provides a framework in which to view the relationship you are about to head into because commitment-phobic people would hardly exceed the time frame spent in another relationship simply because they met a new person. The attendant leaks may point to commitment phobia.
Where there are leaks, do not think you can fix them. Commitment-phobic people are not projects to begin to work. This is because people, in general, are resistant and in most cases, resentful to change. It is important to ensure that people do not attempt to change other people. If one is not comfortable with the type of character or lack of character exhibited by another person, then, the best bet is to turn the other way and face your business
One can choose to guide them but the attendant heartbreaks and disappointments would very soon leave the good Samaritan deeply scarred for life. If a partner cannot live under the same roof with a commitment-phobic person, take a bow and leave in peace.
This advice is sound and at worst, recommended because commitment-phobic people have a myriad of reasons why they cannot enter into a relationship and the other partner would encounter frustration trying to prove that they are worthy of their commitment.
Featured Image Source: Ebony Magazine
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This article was first published on 17th August 2021