Last week, I told a close friend that I went to see a movie by myself and the response I got was ‘oh how pathetic. Poor you’. Now I didn’t remember feeling like I had just gone through a pathetic experience but she obviously viewed it differently and I was forced to wonder for a minute about the different views of what I like to think is enjoying my own company.
In the reverse, the first thing you hear from married couples or couples who have been in a relationship for a long time is, ‘I would just like to have some ‘me’ time’. So please tell me why anyone would think watching a movie alone was pathetic. Funny thing was, I never indicated that there was no one to go to the movies with, I just wanted to go by myself. If you’re like me and you are more a laptop in front of you with earphones in your ear kind of movie watcher, you would appreciate sitting by yourself in a movie theater without undue pressure to make small talk. If you’ve never tried this, then this piece is for you. Here are a few things you absolutely must do while you are ‘single’. And I emphasize single because I have refused to look at not being in a relationship with the negative connotation it carries these days. Let’s get on with the list shall we.
1.We will begin with the aforementioned going to the theater by yourself as number one.
2. By all means travel by yourself. It is said that the most unforgettable moments are the ones you can never tell anyone about, so make some memories that you will be smiling about in your 80’s.
3. Please take yourself to a nice dinner once in a while. You should appreciate yourself enough to spoil yourself with good food bought with your own money. It brings a different kind of appreciation.
4. Do take walks in the park. With someone, it could be romantic, with friends, a fun leisurely experience but by yourself, the peace you feel has no description. Take time to commune with nature and let the trees whisper softly to you or the birds and crickets sooth your frayed, maybe stressed nerves. You might actually hear God in that serenity.
5. Ooh la la, just go dancing! One of my favourite things to do is club hop by myself. Imagine being in any one club for exactly how long you want to be there, give yourself this breather once in a while. Clubs can be great depending on who you go with or who you go without.
6. Experience is the best teacher so please live on your own, even if it is for one year. You will learn first hand how to run a home and I don’t just mean cooking, cleaning and washing but also budgeting, both time and money. It leaves you better equipped when you decide to settle down.
7. Valentine is all about love. It doesn’t specify which so take one valentine to love you and you alone. Buy yourself something that makes you feel desirable, cook yourself a good meal and relax with a glass of wine and a book or movie. Self love isn’t necessarily a bad thing so appreciate you.
8. You must not ‘plus one’ every event. Relish the freedom of going to that show or wedding by yourself. Meet new friends and network, you never can tell, your next million Naira cheque could come from a chance meeting.
9. Last but not the least, try something new as often as possible. This is something everyone should do whether in a relationship or not but you will find that it is so much easier to do by yourself. Take up a new hobby, explore new cultures, make new friends, change your style, try going green, etc. There is so much out there to experience and think of the wealth of influences and moments you can share with your partner when you finally get one.
Remember to enjoy every stage of your life for exactly what it is and though you are not in a relationship, you not quite single or alone. You have friends, family, colleagues and perhaps employees who are a part of you. So the next some one asks you, ‘why are you single?’, look them dead in the eye and say ‘almost doesn’t count’!
About the Author: Ijeoma Aniebo is an Actress and TV Presenter who also finds artistic expression in written and spoken word. When she’s not in front of the camera or on stage, she enjoys getting lost in movies, traveling and meeting new people. ‘Live, laugh, love and learn’ is the mantra she lives by and you can find her on twitter and instagram as @declectic or in the blogsphere at www.sidesofacoin.wordpress.com –
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This article was first published on 9th May 2014
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Last week, I told a close friend that I went to see a movie by myself and the response I got was ‘oh how pathetic. Poor you’. Now I didn’t remember feeling like I had just gone through a pathetic experience but she obviously viewed it differently and I was forced to wonder for a minute about the different views of what I like to think is enjoying my own company.
In the reverse, the first thing you hear from married couples or couples who have been in a relationship for a long time is, ‘I would just like to have some ‘me’ time’. So please tell me why anyone would think watching a movie alone was pathetic. Funny thing was, I never indicated that there was no one to go to the movies with, I just wanted to go by myself. If you’re like me and you are more a laptop in front of you with earphones in your ear kind of movie watcher, you would appreciate sitting by yourself in a movie theater without undue pressure to make small talk. If you’ve never tried this, then this piece is for you. Here are a few things you absolutely must do while you are ‘single’. And I emphasize single because I have refused to look at not being in a relationship with the negative connotation it carries these days. Let’s get on with the list shall we.
1.We will begin with the aforementioned going to the theater by yourself as number one.
2. By all means travel by yourself. It is said that the most unforgettable moments are the ones you can never tell anyone about, so make some memories that you will be smiling about in your 80’s.
3. Please take yourself to a nice dinner once in a while. You should appreciate yourself enough to spoil yourself with good food bought with your own money. It brings a different kind of appreciation.
4. Do take walks in the park. With someone, it could be romantic, with friends, a fun leisurely experience but by yourself, the peace you feel has no description. Take time to commune with nature and let the trees whisper softly to you or the birds and crickets sooth your frayed, maybe stressed nerves. You might actually hear God in that serenity.
5. Ooh la la, just go dancing! One of my favourite things to do is club hop by myself. Imagine being in any one club for exactly how long you want to be there, give yourself this breather once in a while. Clubs can be great depending on who you go with or who you go without.
6. Experience is the best teacher so please live on your own, even if it is for one year. You will learn first hand how to run a home and I don’t just mean cooking, cleaning and washing but also budgeting, both time and money. It leaves you better equipped when you decide to settle down.
7. Valentine is all about love. It doesn’t specify which so take one valentine to love you and you alone. Buy yourself something that makes you feel desirable, cook yourself a good meal and relax with a glass of wine and a book or movie. Self love isn’t necessarily a bad thing so appreciate you.
8. You must not ‘plus one’ every event. Relish the freedom of going to that show or wedding by yourself. Meet new friends and network, you never can tell, your next million Naira cheque could come from a chance meeting.
9. Last but not the least, try something new as often as possible. This is something everyone should do whether in a relationship or not but you will find that it is so much easier to do by yourself. Take up a new hobby, explore new cultures, make new friends, change your style, try going green, etc. There is so much out there to experience and think of the wealth of influences and moments you can share with your partner when you finally get one.
Remember to enjoy every stage of your life for exactly what it is and though you are not in a relationship, you not quite single or alone. You have friends, family, colleagues and perhaps employees who are a part of you. So the next some one asks you, ‘why are you single?’, look them dead in the eye and say ‘almost doesn’t count’!
About the Author: Ijeoma Aniebo is an Actress and TV Presenter who also finds artistic expression in written and spoken word. When she’s not in front of the camera or on stage, she enjoys getting lost in movies, traveling and meeting new people. ‘Live, laugh, love and learn’ is the mantra she lives by and you can find her on twitter and instagram as @declectic or in the blogsphere at www.sidesofacoin.wordpress.com –
