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There is never a second chance for a first impression, remember that country song “first cut is the deepest”, it goes beyond that, first impressions may not be a standard to use in judging a person, but it tells a lot about us. First dates are stressful periods, you automatically find yourself trying to be too cautious of your words and deeds, you don’t want to lie or stretch the truth , but you also don’t want to send your date running off before drinks are ordered. Basically, the goals of a successful first date are to reveal that adorable, endearing part of yourself, learn more about the stranger sitting across from you, and to see if there is any connection between the two of you and a possibility of a second date. Obviously, it’s important to be honest, but some of the more intimate parts of you are personal, and it’s not mandatory to spill it out. Besides, everybody is intrigued by a little mystery and you want to save something for the second and third dates, if possible. There are no standard rules for first dates and there is no such thing as the “perfect date,” so brace you self and go with the flow. These are the things you should never talk about on t he first date:   1. Never talk about your Ex: If you’re not over your ex, please save the long speech and keep it to yourself. Your date certainly doesn’t want to hear about it. There’s a thin line between love and hate, but both are equally fueled by passion. Bringing up your ex up on a first date is a wrong move. In other words, you are telling the other person, they could be entering a three-way relationship and brace themselves for drama.  2. Never bring up politics or religious topics:  Political views and spiritual beliefs or religion are personal and very sensitive issues. They are also not the best topics to pop up on a first date. Couples don’t always share political or religious views. When you’re trying to make a good first impression, it’s probably best to avoid overly emotional topics in order to avoid a sparring match.  3. Marriage Anxiety: It’s a beautiful way to scare someone off and fast, believe me. Take it easy, whether you’re a man or a woman. Uttering those words automatically puts pressure on an already delicate, stressful meeting.  4. Education History: There is a strong probability your date never graduated or went to a varsity. Bringing up your glorious days in school and all may be a turn off. Creating an unhealthy standard, it’s probably better to ask something like, “Have you always lived here?” depending on where here is, or “How did you choose your career?” The point is to ask something not too personal; the key here is having a common ground to dwell on. 5. You Asked, So Pay: Yes we all know the economy is shaky, melt down and all, it’s no longer breaking news. We’re all in it. But common courtesy dictates that the person who did the date asking offer to pay the bill. Chances are, if your date has good manners, they’ll offer to split it or pay the tip. Let’s face it, gone are the days where the guy automatically must pay for dinner, it’s 2012. But no matter what the circumstances are, flat out asking your date to pay the bill might turn out to be an issue and a cancelation of the 2nd date. 6. Keep your personal issues PERSONAL: Everybody has problems in different shapes, colours and sizes, but the first date is more about showing off your personality, not painting yourself black with your problems. Whatever the case may be, it’s probably best not to introduce your problems, at least not on a first date. It thwarts the chances of you having another date. 7. Couple’s Picture: Come on! It’s a first date, have some sense of pride. Pictures mean a lot and you don’t just get that on a first date. It’s a gradual process so learn how to crawl, before you fly. 8. Do you want to come over to my place: Well, I know it’s not everyone that is old fashioned about first dates. There are no standards for it though; proposing sex on the first date really defines your kind of person and it automatically places you in the “one night stand” category. But I feel if you really want a long lasting and a healthy relationship, you will take baby steps.

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This article was first published on 4th July 2012 and updated on July 6th, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Comments (4)

4 thoughts on “8 Things To Never Say On A First Date”

  • Loving the article “Do you want to come over to my place”……
    hahahahahahahaahahahahaaaaaaa….honestly Kobe what if she can’t make it
    home that night cos of the weather or something…..anyway sha it
    depends on how you look at it, staying at your place doesn’t mean you
    will sleep with her. 

  • The key to making your first date work is humour. If you make a laugh well enough, be prepared for a second date. Plus, you cant even tell what your date wants, so errthing you do is based on ur instinct. @Michael, i think asking a girl over on a first date is a one night stand. It only shows your level of “konji”.

    •  Na lie….there is something called SELF CONTROLLED…for your information.

  • Mr Godwin nyc article.if you ask mi would say there are no do’s and dont’s when it comes to matters of the heart. just be your self : these stuff z better on paper dan being practiced, all we want is to find the real you, talk bout everything or anything you feel its appropriate. no rules.

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