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We’re all still basking in the euphoria of the love, friendship and honour we witnessed between Barack and Michelle Obama as they spent their final days in office, and there was much “goals-ing” all over social media. Many have also wondered, secretly if not openly, what wives who live happy, fulfilled lives even as they make their husbands happy, do differently.

I decided it was certainly something worth looking into, and apart from making sure you marry a worthy husband (without this you’re in for a rough ride regardless of whatever else you do), here are 7 things great wives do:

1. They keep their dreams alive. Women who give up a part of themselves (or all of themselves!) just to be successfully married don’t really find true happiness. They often find themselves unfulfilled and resentful, and soon even the shine that drew their husband to them fades away. You are a person, placed on this earth for a reason, and it is in walking in that purpose that you find fulfilment. Sure, certain things may have to take a backseat for a while when you’re a wife and mother, but never ever give up on the dreams that God has placed in your heart.

2. They communicate properly. Great wives know that their husbands aren’t mind readers, and they also know that when and how you say something makes a huge difference. As such, by practice, they are skilled at expressing how they feel and asking for what they want without resorting to shouting, nagging or emotional blackmail.

3. They connect with hubby every single day. They check in with their partner every day be it over coffee, dinner or even in the morning before they get out of bed. There’s always that time to touch base, to feel the pulse of the marriage and to share what’s in their hearts, and these daily check-ups create an atmosphere of intimacy and trust in which they both thrive.

4. They have life and love outside of marriage. Great wives know that no matter how satisfying a marriage is, it is not meant to replace other relationships in life. Making time for your relationship with your family, your relationship with your true friends, and your relationship with yourself is one of the most important things you can do as a wife. Making your marriage your entire world is not healthy.

5. They know who they are. This is one undeniable mark of a great wife; she never loses the essence of who she is, the woman he married. Don’t be deceived, for every day of the 8 years Michelle Obama spent in the White House, she never for once confused the office of the first lady with who she really was. As her husband pointed out, she knew that it was a role, albeit one she never asked for. She took it, made it her own, and then laid it down with grace when the time came. Great wives know who they are and remain true to themselves regardless of where life takes them.

6. They make their marriage their own. Trying to force your home into a mould, or operate the way other couples do, is a recipe for disaster. Let go of pressure, be it pressure to cook every meal your family eats, accept every piece of marriage advice, or follow traditional patterns that don’t suit you as a couple. If it’s the husband who cooks in your home, fine. If going out for date night is not your thing as a couple, fine. If you really believe in merging finances in a joint account, fine. What’s important is that both of you are comfortable and happy in your marriage, not what Tomiwa, Dike and Haruna think.

7. They nurture their relationship with God. Great wives prioritise a vibrant, intimate relationship with God marked by reverence and honesty, and being full of His love is what completes them, not marriage. With God as the centre of their life and the only One they really need, they are able to maintain the wholeness required for a successful union.

Which of these resonates the most with you? Do leave a comment.


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This article was first published on 27th January 2017

jehonwa

Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at] yahoo.com


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