5 Things That Every Man Should Learn to do in Marriage

Do you know that marriage is an institution where there is no graduation? Every married man I have come across has voiced out the same opinion that no matter how many years you have been with your spouse, you still have to take the time to discover, learn and explore more things about your spouse, like you were dating all over again. Now it takes a lot of responsibility and courage to raise a family. No wonder many guys today are afraid of making commitments. In our world today, divorce isn’t a big deal anymore and I sometimes wonder why a person should be married 5 times. Nevertheless, for any man who wishes to take the bold step to marry, and for those who are already in the race, there are things that every man should be aware of and learn in order for their marriage to be a wonderful and long-lasting experience. 1. Love I am not talking about self-love or lust. I’m talking about love that is pure, enduring, not full of jealousy, not too demanding. I am talking about love that is shown towards your spouse. Her well-being and happiness is your happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that you should worship her but every man should learn to love his wife. Even though many might say this is easy, I have found out that many men find it very difficult to love their spouses or even say the words “I love you “. This is surprising and there are so many reasons but it’s true. There are so many books out there like ‘The 5 Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman, which can help you understand what it means to love and things you can do to spice up your relationship. Also, it is good to seek counsel from friends or people that are experienced, this can help too. I have not forgotten about love towards your kids! But i believe that if one can love his wife, then love will be shared to the kids. 2. Respect Men should learn to respect their spouse and children. There is a difference between love and respect. I have seen men who say they love their wives and truly they honestly do; yet they never give their wives a chance to express themselves; they never listen to their opinion and treat them like slaves. Some fathers even bully their kids not just by fist alone, but by words. Respect is reciprocal and you don’t demand for respect, you earn it. No one was born to be a slave; we were born for greatness; we were born to dominate and explore our world. No matter how you love your wife and kids, it is important that you respect them and their opinion. In a situation where you think you know it all, it’s only going to cause confusion, pain and disunity in the home. The beauty of marriage is when a man and his wife can express themselves freely without hurting each other and that happens when both parties learn to respect each other. 3. Guide As a man, you are the visionary. You set the pace for your home. Just like an entrepreneur who leads his business to greatness, a man must lead his family to happiness and unity. To achieve this, you need your wife to dearly support you. Every single parent knows how hard it is when it comes to parenting but with the two of you, there is no obstacle that can stop you. There is a saying that behind every successful man, there is a wise woman. By nature, it is the man’s duty to lead in the home, so it’s sad when men run away from their responsibility. Women are also good home managers, but the truth is that man was given the baton to lead the home and that, he must do. I noticed these days that many men try to carry their responsibility and put it on their spouse while they have fun; without a thought about what happens in the home. Some have gone as far as abandoning their family in times of distress. It’s a hurdle and takes great courage when one has to abandon self-gratification and freedom, just to be a leader and an example to his family. I have no right to judge anyone and that I will not do. However, what I will say is that no matter the situation, no matter the circumstances, every man should face up to the challenge and lead his home. 4. Build A man must build a solid foundation for his family. What kind of foundation must he build? The general ideal answer would be a happy, united, successful and loving family. However, there is one thing men should be wary of and that’s their ego. Men should be team players especially when it comes to parenting. Trying to go solo will only harm you and your family. There is no one size fits all strategy when it comes to building your home but like every coach that has a different strategy for his team, you must find your strategy for building your home.  5. Nurture The dictionary meaning of nurture is to care for and protect a subject while they are growing and developing. This is very important especially when you have kids. Their future character is dependent on how well you nurture them, and the same goes for their ambitions. You must create a favourable and peaceful environment where your family can grow; any disturbance such as jealousy, hatred and other negative influences can cause the family to collapse. You must care for your spouse and be willing to watch her grow. It’s annoying that some men like pointing out their spouse’s weaknesses and make fun of them instead of appreciating their uniqueness and assisting them in achieving their dreams. Also many kids’ self-image today has been battered by destructive criticism from critical fathers. Your spouse and children must sense your love and care around them; it helps them pass through the storms of life, confident. These areas mentioned are very important although there are many others. Remember that learning can take effect in one’s life only when one is prepared to take the bold step to knowledge.

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This article was first published on 12th October 2014

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