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A lot has been said about women “having it all”. We have to wear so many hats in our lifetime that we’re constantly receiving and trading advice on how to have it all, and achieve “work-life balance”, especially as career women/entrepreneurs, wives and mothers. Do you want to have it all? Consider these:

1. You Cannot Have It All, and You Shouldn’t Even Try

Imagine that the struggle to attain work-life balance is a heavy backpack on your back.  Now, say, “There is no work-life balance. Work-life balance as we imagine it is a myth.” Yes, that’s the truth. The 50-50 lie we’ve been sold is an illusion. Close your eyes and feel the backpack slide off your back. Take a deep, relaxing breath.

2. You Can Have It All

This point seems to be a direct contradiction to the one before it, but it is not. As long as you know what “all” really means, you can have it. You will have to choose, and own your choices. The quality of your life depends on your decisions. Every decision you make has its upsides and downsides. When I became a mother, I left the corporate world to build a freelance career and set up my own business. As a result, I got a home office that enabled me to be close to my baby all day.

I could have been making twice what I made working from home if I’d decided to climb the corporate ladder, but I traded that other half for the chance to be a more present mother. Every time I thought of all that extra money, I thought of my son, and I owned my choice.

If you earn enough to give your kids the best schools and nice vacations, but work won’t let you spend as much time with them, don’t feel guilty about it either. Just decide what is important to you, and then take responsibility. Free yourself.

Take responsibility for your choices. First, look back and own your past choices and their consequences. Then prepare yourself to evaluate your choices going forward, and take responsibility for whatever comes of them. Life is too short for regrets, or for playing the blame game.

3. You Can Have It All, Just Not At the Same Time

Eventually, children grow up, and we start needing them to need us. Time was when my mother quit her job and started business to allow for a flexible schedule that would let her spend time with us. Now, that we’re all out of the house, she looks forward to our phone calls and being able to visit with us. A time will come when you will have more hours in your day than you do now. So don’t throw your dreams away. Make choices that work for where you are, and make sure you enjoy each season! Middle aged and older women everywhere are breaking records and bringing about change.

Live a life of your own design! When YOU get to define what “ALL” means to you instead of society, you’re on the road to having it.


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This article was first published on 17th August 2016

jehonwa

Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at] yahoo.com


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