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  In 2020, I held a special training session for people on the subject of self-awareness. While carrying out research in preparation for that training, I made a number of discoveries. I will be sharing one of these discoveries in this post.
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You probably have met someone who claims to be self-aware but constantly makes choices that don’t align with their strengths. Or someone who believes they are well-liked, yet others find them difficult to work with. When you see those, you begin to wonder if such a person is disconnected from reality. The truth is, many people think they are self-aware but only about 10% to 15% of people actually are. This is according to research by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich and her team. They also identified two types of self-awareness: internal (how well you know yourself) and external (how well you understand how others perceive you). Their study shows that self-awareness isn’t just about looking within, it’s also about understanding how others see you. In other words, you could have deep internal insight about yourself yet be completely blind to how others perceive you. Let’s consider these two types:

1. Internal Self-Awareness

Internal self-awareness is about understanding yourself—your values, aspirations, strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and how you react to different situations. Knowing yourself internally helps you make choices that align with who you truly are, rather than being influenced by societal expectations.

Why Internal Matters

Almost every one of us grew up being told that studying law or medicine guarantees our success in life. Now, a number of persons because of this, enrolled in a law or medicine degree, struggle through the courses, and graduate feeling unfulfilled. If these persons had developed strong internal self-awareness, they would have recognized earlier that their real passion lies in something else. It may be business, media, comedy, music, art, or even tech. According to Tasha Eurich’s research, people with high internal self-awareness experience:
  • Greater job and relationship satisfaction
  • More control over their lives
  • Increased happiness and emotional balance
  • Reduced anxiety and stress
Take Jeremiah, a marketing manager Tasha Eurich studied. He started in accounting but later realized that it didn’t align with his passion. Because he had strong internal self-awareness, he confidently switched careers and found greater fulfilment in marketing.

2. External Self-Awareness

External self-awareness is simply your ability to recognize how others perceive you. It means being aware of how your actions, words, and behaviours affect the people around you.

Why External Matters

In life, perception is everything. Whether in your workplace, business, or personal relationships, how people see you affects the opportunities you receive. You may think you are confident, but others may see you as arrogant. You may believe you communicate well, but your team may find you difficult to approach. According to the same research, people with high external self-awareness:
  • Are better at building relationships
  • Show greater empathy and emotional intelligence
  • Are seen as better leaders and team players
  • Have more meaningful personal and professional connections
For example, leaders who understand how their employees see them tend to be more effective. Their teams respect them more, and their relationships with colleagues improve.
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How to Develop Both Types of Self-Awareness

It is important to improve yourself both internally and externally. Knowing yourself internally isn’t enough. You might think you’re approachable, but your colleagues see you as intimidating. On the other hand, if you focus only on the external, you may find yourself constantly seeking approval from others and by so doing lose sight of your values and strengths. That’s why you need to improve yourself in both types. Here’s how:

To Improve Internal Self-Awareness:

  • Take time to reflect on your decisions, emotions, and values
  • Journal your thoughts and track patterns in your behaviour
  • Identify your strengths and weaknesses honestly
  • Ask yourself: Am I making choices based on my true desires or external pressure?

To Improve External Self-Awareness:

  • Seek honest feedback from mentors, colleagues, or friends
  • Observe how people react to you in different situations
  • Develop empathy—put yourself in others’ shoes
  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues in conversations
Like Jeremiah, who initially focused only on internal self-awareness but later realized he needed to understand how others saw him, you must strive for a balance between both types.

Concluding Thoughts

Being truly self-aware is rare, but those who achieve it gain clarity, confidence, and better relationships. Understanding both internal and external self-awareness allows you to make better life choices while improving how you relate with others.
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So, ask yourself: Do you know who you are? And just as importantly, do you know how others see you? If you can develop both sides of self-awareness, you’ll unlock new levels of success, whether in your career, business, or personal life.
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This article was first published on 15th March 2025
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victor-ifegwu-mbonu

Ifegwu-Mbonu Victor is a Personal Growth and Leadership Trainer who provides training and coaching to individuals and organizations.

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