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  We’ve all felt it at some point – that knot in your stomach when you’re about to try something new. The voice in your head that whispers, “What if I mess up?” This is the fear of failure, and it’s a common part of being human. But here’s the good news: we can learn to face this fear and even use it to grow stronger.
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What is the Fear of Failure?

The fear of failure is exactly what it sounds like – being afraid of not succeeding. It can show up in many ways. Maybe you put off starting a project because you’re worried it won’t be perfect. Or perhaps you avoid trying new things because you’re scared of looking silly. This fear can hold us back from reaching our goals and experiencing new things.

Why Do We Fear Failure?

There are many reasons why failure scares us:
  1. We worry about what others will think.
  2. We don’t want to feel disappointed in ourselves.
  3. We’re afraid of the unknown.
  4. We might have had bad experiences with failure in the past.
  5. We live in a society that often celebrates success and hides failure.
The problem is, this fear can stop us from living life to the fullest. As Wayne Gretzky, the famous hockey player, once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Changing How We See Failure

The first step in overcoming failure fears is to change how we think about it. Instead of seeing failure as a bad thing, we can start to see it as a chance to learn and grow. Think about babies learning to walk. They fall many times, but they keep trying. Each fall teaches them something new about balance and movement. They don’t give up because of a few bumps and bruises. In the same way, we can learn to see our failures as stepping stones to success. J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books, is a great example of this. Before her books became famous, she was turned down by 12 different publishers. But she didn’t give up. She saw each rejection as a reason to keep trying and improving her work.
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Practical Steps to Overcome Fear of Failure

  1. Start Small: If you’re scared of failing at something big, start with smaller challenges. Each small success will build your confidence.
  2. Visualize Success: Spend time imagining yourself succeeding. This can help you feel more positive and prepared.
  3. Prepare Well: Do your homework. Being well-prepared can help you feel more confident and reduce fear.
  4. Reframe Your Goals: Instead of focusing on “not failing,” focus on learning and improving. This takes some of the pressure off.
  5. Embrace Imperfection: Remember, nobody’s perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how we learn and grow.
  6. Learn from Others: Talk to people you admire about their failures. You’ll probably find that everyone has faced setbacks on their path to success.
  7. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. If you do fail, don’t beat yourself up. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend.
  8. Celebrate Effort: Recognize that trying is a success in itself. Even if things don’t work out perfectly, you’ve still taken a brave step forward.

The Power of “Yet”

One simple word can make a big difference in how we think about failure: “yet.” When you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” try adding “yet” to the end. “I can’t do this… yet.” This small change reminds us that skills and abilities can be developed with time and practice.

Famous Failures

It might help to know that many successful people have faced big failures:
  • Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
  • Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players ever, was cut from his high school basketball team.
  • Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he started, before coming back years later to make it one of the biggest companies in the world.
These stories show us that failure isn’t the end – it’s often just a step on the path to success.

The Benefits of Facing Your Fears

When you start to overcome your fear of failure, amazing things can happen:
  1. You’ll be more willing to try new things.
  2. You’ll learn and grow faster.
  3. You’ll become more resilient – better able to bounce back from setbacks.
  4. You might discover talents you never knew you had.
  5. You’ll inspire others around you to be braver too.
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Final Thoughts

Everyone feels scared of failing sometimes. The key is not to let that fear stop you from trying. Each time you face your fear, you get a little stronger. And who knows? Your next try might be the one that leads to your biggest success yet. So next time you feel that fear of failure creeping in, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that it’s okay to be scared, but it’s not okay to let that fear hold you back. You’ve got this!
Got a suggestion? Contact us: editor@connectnigeria.com
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This article was first published on 16th August 2024

chidiogo-akaelu

Chidiogo Shalom Akaelu holds a degree in English and Literary Studies, from the University of Nigeria. She is a freelance writer, editor and founder of Loana Press, a budding online publishing outlet.

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