Anger is a natural human emotion with extensive range of intensities, from minor irritation and annoyance to fury. it is an expressive form of emotion that is manifested in diverse ways such as the use of swear words, high pitch of one’s voice, and often in fits of violence. Everyone experiences anger, and it can be healthy when it spurs you to stand up for yourself and be assertive. If left to exacerbate, it can spiral out of control and become destructive so much so that it can lead to issues; at work, in your personal relationships, and in the general quality of your life. Anger is an emotion that is as old as the existence of man.The Bible used by Christians records an early display of anger when Cain (Genesis Chapter 4:8), in a fit of rage, murdered his own brother. Understanding anger in all its forms and intensities such as annoyance, mild irritation, and rage, can make a big difference in our ability to take a step back and process this powerful and complicated emotion.
The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that two main factors are responsible for anger in humans – genetics and physiology. The Association further explained that while some people’s genes makes them naturally inclined to being easily irritated, socio-cultural conditioning, which discourages people from expressing anger, does so without reference to how people can express and manage anger. When anger is well managed, it prompts us to make positive changes in our lives and situations. A few steps are outlined to help you do just that.
Accept that you have a challenge: You cannot deal with a challenge which you don’t think you have. This is why realizing that you have anger issues is paramount to your managing it. Certain times this may call for you to be honest with yourself and tell yourself some hard truths. However, admitting that you have a challenge which you need to tackle is the beginning of your success and definitely a step in the right direction.
Know your triggers: The next step to take is to be aware of those things and issues that set you off. This ensures that you’re able to either keep away from such scenarios or are able to prepare yourself adequately to withstand the issue ahead of you. Sometimes, you can also get internal signs such as knots in your stomach, clammy feeling, racing heart, clenched palms or fists, headache, a sudden need to pace and so on. Recognising these signs gives you the chance to think about how you want to react to a situation before doing anything.
Talk to someone: Let the important people in your life know about the changes that you’re trying to make. They can motivate and support you if you lapse into old habits. Sometimes, all it takes to vent your annoyance healthily is to talk to someone you trust and are comfortable with; someone who is familiar with you and is ready to listen. It should always be someone who is truthful to you about yourself and who will not hesitate to call you to order when you’re flying off the handle.
Relax: This is a subtle but very potent step to anger management which is often overlooked. Most times, simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and repeating a calming phrase or counting to ten can help soothe angry feelings. There are many other ways to relax and calm down, depending on what suits you and what’s convenient at the time you are angry. These include mild exercise, listening to cool music, or attempting something creative.
Find a humorous angle: You really don’t have to take everything so seriously you know. The next time you feel tempted to lash out; try to see the humour in your expressions of anger. For instance, if you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would look like literally. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you’ll also realize how unimportant the things you are angry about really are. Anger is a serious emotion, but is often laced with sides which if considered, are sure to make you laugh.
Several other ways to manage your anger include improving your communication skills, learning to forgive, being positive and assertive, restructuring your mind and so on. The earlier you realize that anger does more harm to you than it does to the object of your rage, the better for you. It is really not that simple a process, but getting your anger emotions under control is achievable and it starts with you.
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This article was first published on 4th September 2013
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Relax: This is a subtle but very potent step to anger management which is often overlooked. Most times, simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and repeating a calming phrase or counting to ten can help soothe angry feelings. There are many other ways to relax and calm down, depending on what suits you and what’s convenient at the time you are angry. These include mild exercise, listening to cool music, or attempting something creative.
Find a humorous angle: You really don’t have to take everything so seriously you know. The next time you feel tempted to lash out; try to see the humour in your expressions of anger. For instance, if you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would look like literally. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you’ll also realize how unimportant the things you are angry about really are. Anger is a serious emotion, but is often laced with sides which if considered, are sure to make you laugh.
Several other ways to manage your anger include improving your communication skills, learning to forgive, being positive and assertive, restructuring your mind and so on. The earlier you realize that anger does more harm to you than it does to the object of your rage, the better for you. It is really not that simple a process, but getting your anger emotions under control is achievable and it starts with you.
