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As a young teenager, I realised that somehow we were made to feel that sex is something bad and dirty, as if that in itself would make us stay away from it. Fat chance!

Thankfully, I realised that sex is created to be beautiful. However, premature sexual activity does more harm than good. Eating an unripe mango isn’t at all the same as eating a ripe one. Some things in life are worth the wait, and sex is definitely one of them.

Teenage sex is one of those choices in life where, even though you can enter without paying, you’re certainly going to pay before you leave. Have you counted the cost? Is it a price you can afford? Here are important things to know and remember:

  1. Sex makes babies. Pregnancy isn’t something that just “happens” to people like a lightning bolt striking an unsuspecting pedestrian. You may have learnt from the media and books that sex is fun, risk-free and cool, but you should know that sex — not “unprotected sex” but sex itself, by its very nature —leads to pregnancy, and an unplanned pregnancy is not what you need in your teens.
  1. Sex exposes teens to STDs. You’ve heard that only abstinence, and a couple being faithful to each other, can protect against sexually transmitted diseases. However, it cannot be over-emphasised. There are sexually transmitted diseases, like herpes, that never really leave your body even after treatment. Others can permanently damage normal reproduction. Even if you use a condom every single time (which is rare among teens) it still doesn’t offer 100% protection. For instance, the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) is the most common viral STD and the cause of more than 90% of all cervical cancer. You can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus. Because it can infect areas that are not covered by the condom, condoms will not fully protect you against contracting it. So much for safe sex!
  1. Sex does not define love. It is not the key element of any romantic relationship. The fact that you are romantically involved with someone does not mean you should go to bed with them. You actually can have an enjoyable relationship that does not involve sexual activity.
  1. Sexual activity is progressive. What you call “making out” is actually foreplay; it naturally leads to other things. If you let a boy kiss and fondle you, you will probably have sex eventually. That’s the reality.
  1. Sex creates a bond. It makes you emotionally vulnerable. The closeness you feel to someone after making love with them is the way it’s designed to be, and that’s a bond you don’t want to share with just anyone. To be physically involved clouds issues. It makes you feel closer than you actually are, as if you’re really in love. Maybe you are. Maybe you’re not. Commitment, not feelings, will tell.

Of course, teen dating paves the way for sexual activity that you’re really not ready to handle, that’s why I’m a huge fan of delaying dating.

However, if you must date, remember that a BRAIN is a terrible thing to waste. Promote maximum brain usage with these steps:

Balance the head and the heart Refrain from physical intimacy Analyse your past relationships Include others in the process Never neglect opportunities to evaluate along the way.

Experience is not always the best teacher. Please, be wise.

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This article was first published on 26th August 2016


Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at]

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