3 Vital Lessons From the Housemaid Abduction Story

Nigerians around the country who had spent days praying, tweeting and sending BBM broadcast messages on behalf of Rafael and Michael Esharegharan and their family, heaved a collective sigh of relief on Thursday when it was confirmed that the boys who had been kidnapped were back with their parents, after a ransom of 2.5 million naira was paid. Conversations have been held on and off social media about the menace house helps pose and how much better it is to do without them. However, working parents may not always have what it takes to run a home and raise kids without domestic staff, so parents of children who have suffered at the hands of house helps were not wrong to get help; they may simply have done better in certain areas. We are immensely grateful for the safe return of the boys, and it is necessary to learn from this incident and avoid potential pitfalls. Here are 3 important lessons for parents who decide to employ domestic staff:  1. Use a Reputable Agency Based on Referral The parents of the boys recruited this housemaid off OLX. Now we know that on OLX, “everything sells, everything sells!” but a caregiver for your children? No, no. The agency they thought they were dealing with on the site, Omolade Employment Agency, proved to be nonexistent and all efforts to contact the woman who had posed as the owner-manager were futile. Use an agency whose physical address you know, and make sure you know people who have used them successfully before. Referrals always work best in these cases. 2. Do Background Checks The fact that you’re using an agency does not mean you should not conduct your own checks. The background of the house help was unknown to her employers. They had not one relative’s address or phone number. In fact, they didn’t even know her surname; just her first name, Juliet. The people who take care of our children should be more than just “Ngozi” or “Ekaette” to us. We should know as much about them we can. When recruiting a domestic assistant (that’s the preferred nomenclature for my spouse and I), we get her full name, phone number and the residential address of a relative, along with 2 passport photographs and a reference letter from her guardian. Where distance allows, we visit the place she calls home in Lagos. It may sound a bit much, but it is not nearly enough; your children are priceless. 3. Reduce Alone Time As much as possible, make sure your maid is never completely alone with your children; it does not provide 100% guarantee as we can see from the Esharegharan case, but combined with the other tips it goes a long way. Make sure the person/people with them know that your goal is to ensure eyes are always on the domestic staff. There are many ways to do this. Uki says, “We use the ‘never alone principle’ and even though it’s so difficult to get someone to stay in the house with the house help and the kids, we try to find someone or we take the kids and the house help to my mum’s place or a friend’s place.” For some families, this isn’t practicable, so Kemi suggests another tip, “Take advantage of your nosey neighbours, they are your CCTV. I try as much as possible to be cordial. I even tell them to help me keep an eye on the help which they are only too glad to do. Very soon they’ll beckon and say, ‘I don’t want to cause trouble but this your house help is wayward o’ or ‘are you sure this your driver doesn’t use your car for kabu kabu? I saw him at the bus stop.’ Neighbours come in handy.” Christine agrees, “Neighbours are a big help. A lot of small kids in my close…everyone looks out for each other.” The woman who runs a shop near my house is my ally, and so are the security men at the estate gate. You may worry about the neighbours getting all up in your business, but isn’t that a small price to pay? We hear many horrible stories, and most times success stories don’t get shared. The truth is, there are good nannies and domestic assistants. When you find good ones you should keep them. Do you have more tips to share? Please do so in the comment section below. Knowledge is power.   About the author: Joy Ehonwa is a writer, editor and online proofreader who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a copy-editing, ghostwriting and transcription business, and blogs at www.anafricandiva.wordpress.com and www.girlaware.wordpress.com