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They are loads of reasons why beautiful relationships go sour. The only constant thing in life is change and a lot of people don’t welcome its presence. Life itself is in phases and so are relationships. It all starts from a five lettered word “hello” and after that the relationship begins to progress. In the early days of an exciting new romance, it is tempting to see the world through exquisite eyes. But to make the relationship last, look at the world through your regular eyes, and be alert to the warnings of trouble while it may still be avoided, but a lot of us are carried away by the euphoria of fantasy. Often you will hear statements like “I don’t know what went wrong” or “Our relationship was close to perfect” and it’s because a lot of relationships go from rainbow colours to shades of gray. The problem could be certain actions or habits we portray; not knowing it’s a huge turn off for our partners. When such habits or actions continue frequently, it leads to withdrawal; a withdrawal may lead to separation and separation is just a cousin of a broken relationship. Things to avoid or let go if you want a healthy relationship are listed below: Dishonesty and deception: Lies destroy a crucial component of any relationship: trust. Once you catch a whiff of duplicity in the air, look out! Sure, it could be an isolated incident or a half-truth that might be forgiven and forgotten, but often it’s a sign of trouble. A person’s need to lie is a telling clue about his character and emotional health. It may indicate serious insecurity, lack of integrity, or flimsy moral standards. And if dishonesty shows up while dating, it’s likely to only get worse during marriage. Here’s a sobering fact of life: If your partner is willing to lie to you once, he or she is likely to do it again. Lust on the fast lane (Too fast, too physical): It takes time to form the healthy emotional circuits needed to sustain a lasting relationship. Trust and the willingness to commit can’t be rushed. But surging sexual energy can shorten a potential partnership, if it is switched on too early. Becoming physically intimate can open up a large number of issues that put pressure on a fledgling relationship and destroy it before it has a fighting chance. Scars from the past (unchecked Emotions): As often as we describe a new relationship as a “fresh start,” that’s usually not entirely true. All of us carry wounds we’ve received in life—as children, in previous relationships, or in the trenches of modern society. Making room for a new partner may cause you to trip over things you’d forgotten were there. And, of course, he or she certainly has hidden hurts, too. The issue is not the wounds we carry or the scars we bear, since everyone has some of those. The issue is the willingness to examine and work through emotional difficulties. To succeed in a new love relationship, both partners must be willing check any emotions and do the work required to get over a painful past. Face Reality (Fantasies are deceitful): Unrealistic expectations serve as treacherous sinkholes on the road to lasting love. When a woman describes her man as “my perfect Prince Charming” or my King of spades and a man thinks she is “a goddess who is flawless and can do no wrong,” they are destined for a nasty crash. There’s nothing wrong with believing the best about each other, admiring your partner’s positive qualities, and nurturing dreams of a bright future together, it shouldn’t be over hyped or stretched because in the real sense we all have blemishes. Obsession (Emotional Clings): Few relationships are able to survive extreme jealousy, possessiveness, over-dependence or manipulative and controlling behavior. Such actions and attitudes are a sure sign that one or both people lack a solid emotional foundation. Placing excessive demands on your partner’s time and attention may seem like a normal expression of romantic love. In reality, it is a destructive form of domination. Freedom to be yourself without someone else constantly telling you what you should or should not do is critical if your relationship is going to thrive and flourish. Choice or the power of freewill is the best thing God gave us, nobody should create unnecessary standards for anyone. For a healthy dating relationship, the individuals acknowledge that nobody is perfect and there will surely be problems to address. Every relationship will require hard work and perseverance, a little space and room for correction.
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This article was first published on 3rd July 2012 and updated on July 5th, 2012 at 10:13 am

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