Making small talk can be a total waste of valuable time for some. Although it has been proven that most times, the valuable relationships we need to cultivate happen when we give room to this seemingly wearisome necessity called ‘small talk’, I find it quite bothersome. And while some people might think that people like me who find it difficult to make small talk find it difficult because we are selfish and not interested in anyone but ourselves, that is not always the case. I think making small talk is difficult for people who keep to themselves. Sometimes, they might even feel that by making small talk with another person, they are wasting their precious time.
The fact though is, being human is about cultivating relationships with other humans; that is the norm. One good reason is that you need to work with others. One of the most effective ways of doing this is using the gift of conversation. Here are some reasons why making small talk is essential:
- Making small talk breaks the ice: When you meet someone for the first time, an invisible ice is created and making great small talk (nothing too serious at first) can help thaw that ice.
- Making small talk builds relationship: Pelumi, a beautiful lady in her twenties, told me she wasn’t that much of a small talker which was why she wanted to stay alone in the apartment that was given to her for free. She confided in me that when her benefactor told her she was bringing in someone else who needed a roof over her head to stay with her, she was perturbed. “How was she going to relate with a complete stranger?” she thought. Small talk saved her. When I saw them two weeks later, they had become fast friends.
- Making small talk can lead to ‘big’ conversations: I am sure most readers can testify to this. There were some relationships you started and you did not know until it happened that it would be the relationship that would help you fulfil your goals and your aspirations in life. Playback to when you started that relationship. You’ll be surprised at what sort of small talk brought you the future you wanted.
- Making small talk keeps you in the loop: You miss out on a lot of things happening around you when you refuse to make small talk. Sometimes missing out on these things might be a blessing in disguise because there are a lot of irrelevant things that are passed around but yet in the irrelevance, you might find a small piece of information that might serve as your saving grace at a dire time.
- Making small talk helps you perfect the art of effective communication: Susan RoAne in her book, “What Do I Say Next?” writes “small talk is the biggest talk we do“. Small talk serves as a communication starter. Once you have perfected your starters and mastered your transitions into relevant discussions, you become effective in the art of communication.
- Making small talk is the ‘realest’ conversation you can ever have: Now, you might be rolling your eyes and saying, “I can’t believe you are saying this!” I can’t believe I am saying it too, but it is true. Small talk comes with no hidden agendas and no expectations. Keep an open mind and be interested in getting to know people. Have the luxury of exploring who they are and their preferences in relation to the world we live in. A better understanding of the world can come out of something as little as making small talk.
About the author: Mary Odunuga is a writer/reporter for Connect Nigeria and for other prominent lifestyle blog sites.