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It’s interesting to see that people in Western countries are steadily embracing the concept of surrogacy. Celebrities have also given it their stamp of approval too, with stars like E!’ TV’s host Giulianna Rancic and her husband, Bill, and even football star, Cristiano Ronaldo having kids through this arrangement. Yet, even with its popularity, this is one trend that hasn’t caught on on our side of the Atlantic.  
Giuliana, Bill and their son, Duke
Giuliana, Bill and their son, Duke
Surrogacy means a woman agreeing to carry a pregnancy for intended parents. In other words, the surrogate mother (SM) simply “lends” her womb to a couple who’s physically incapable of carrying a pregnancy or doing so long term, perhaps for health reasons. We recently spoke to a small group of Nigerian women –single and married – about surrogacy and it was interesting to learn what they had to say about it: First, most of them couldn’t see themselves being surrogate mothers for free, with “Free? Why free?” being a hilarious response from one of them. Just three were open to the idea of doing it without pay. ‘’I can, if it’s a pressing issue,” said Sandra, referring to health factors being a reason for the arrangement. Then there was Dorcas who believed being paid isn’t worth the future emotional hurt of the child. “I can be a surrogate mother, but for a million bucks, no… I think it’s going to be a shameful thing if my baby, whether it’s [from] my eggs or not, gets to find out that her surrogate mum actually did it because of money.” One who chose to stay anonymous  was also open to the idea of being an SM for free, but only for relatives – who she likes. The others on the other hand needed some more motivation. “One million [naira] is too small,” Subomi said. “From one month to nine months is work. The day of delivery nko?” She’s been pregnant before, and believes the stress of pregnancy is much more expensive. She continues, “I can do it for five million, if they take care of me. The money’s okay for me to start life.” Another interesting consideration that came up in our discussion – “What would others think?” This was a major reason why some refused to do it. Isabella cited. “I don’t think I’d want people to know that I’m doing it. The way we reason, our mentality.. ” According to Sandra, “If I’m going to carry the baby, it can’t be in Nigeria.” The others who agreed to being SMs also pointed out that they would not tell anyone about the arrangement, for concerns of judgement from people. This leads us to wonder what it would take for our society to become more open-minded to surrogacy and other concepts considered taboo by others. The final consideration highlighted was the consequence of separation from the child after giving birth. According to Isabella, “What if you now grow an emotional attachment? You think it’s that easy?” “I don’t think I’ll be able to let go of the child,”Aisha cited. “I’ll be so clingy to it, so it’s a no-no.” “At the end of all that pain, you’ll now let the baby go?” said another lady who chose to remain anonymous.   Now over to you, readers. What are your thoughts on this topic? As a woman, would you ever agree to be a surrogate mother, or would you allow your wife/girlfriend to be one as a man? Let us know in the comments section below.  
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This article was first published on 8th June 2015

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Ify Halim is a Writer and media enthusiast based in Lagos. She enjoys writing self-help/inspirational articles with published work in UYD Magazine, Edufrica, Our Stories Inc. and The Keele Concourse. She currently works at ConnectNigeria.com, Nigeria’s Information Portal. Follow her on Twitter @MissHalim or visit her online space at ifyhalim.wordpress.com

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