Let me start off this article by saying that I’m not a relationship expert – far from it. I’m simply a young woman who has lived long enough to see and experience a lot in this area. From heartbreaks to fairy tale endings, there’s nothing a Nigerian woman in her 20s has not heard or witnessed first-hand. Sometimes love hurts, but at the end of the day, nothing beats having a loving spouse to spend the rest of your life with.
In the area of relationships, the truth is that many of us don’t know what we want, especially those of us in our 20s. We’re too busy trying to figure out who we are and what we want out of life.
But there are a few things on most ladies’ checklist for eligible guys to date and eventually marry. For me, they are:
1. Security: This concept is deep in itself and very multi-faceted. Can I trust you with my total well being –emotional, spiritual, financial (yes, that too) and physical? Women like to feel safe and cared for. I have to feel safe with you. Can I trust you with my future kids? If I believe you aren’t the man to provide these for me, I will look for one who can.
2. Ambition: If you don’t know where you’re going (in life) and taking ample steps to get there, I can’t have you leading me. This is a hard fact to face for most men, but a “serious-minded” woman looks at the bigger picture.
3. Values: The Proverbs 31 Woman wants someone who is morally sound yet fun and adventurous. Yes, he’s hard to find – with most men being at the spectrum’s extremes – but I choose to believe that he’s alive and well. The values in question include a love for God – which is different from God-fearing because even the devil fears God – respect for people, diligence and self-discipline.
4. Wisdom/Intelligence: A well-learned man is a major turn-on for me. I want to trust his judgment and know that he can have an intelligent conversation with me and my peers.
5. Good conversation skills: Every woman likes to talk. Whether she’s naturally shy or extroverted, she wants someone with an ear to vent to, and a mouth to speak right back. I am not different. There’s nothing worse than airing out your emotions to a man only to realize he has nothing to say, or even worse, wasn’t listening at all. He has to be willing, and capable of communicating with me.
6. Attractiveness: Attractiveness is not the same as “good looks”. When it boils down to it, what I want is someone I can comfortably look at. You don’t have to be the finest man in the world – with a chiseled face and a six-pack. As long as you’re someone I am effortlessly attracted to, you’re a keeper.
7. Sense of humour: You have to get my jokes! Be able to relax, have fun and make me laugh every once in a while.
That’s it!
I’m personally looking forward to finding out what the guys look for in a lady, straight from a man’s perspective.
Editor’s note: The “He Says” response will be on Connect Nigeria on Friday.
About the Writer: Ify Halim is a young Creative and a promoter of values through the force that is writing. Follow her on twitter: @MissHalim
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This article was first published on 20th April 2015
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2. Ambition: If you don’t know where you’re going (in life) and taking ample steps to get there, I can’t have you leading me. This is a hard fact to face for most men, but a “serious-minded” woman looks at the bigger picture.
3. Values: The Proverbs 31 Woman wants someone who is morally sound yet fun and adventurous. Yes, he’s hard to find – with most men being at the spectrum’s extremes – but I choose to believe that he’s alive and well. The values in question include a love for God – which is different from God-fearing because even the devil fears God – respect for people, diligence and self-discipline.
4. Wisdom/Intelligence: A well-learned man is a major turn-on for me. I want to trust his judgment and know that he can have an intelligent conversation with me and my peers.
5. Good conversation skills: Every woman likes to talk. Whether she’s naturally shy or extroverted, she wants someone with an ear to vent to, and a mouth to speak right back. I am not different. There’s nothing worse than airing out your emotions to a man only to realize he has nothing to say, or even worse, wasn’t listening at all. He has to be willing, and capable of communicating with me.
6. Attractiveness: Attractiveness is not the same as “good looks”. When it boils down to it, what I want is someone I can comfortably look at. You don’t have to be the finest man in the world – with a chiseled face and a six-pack. As long as you’re someone I am effortlessly attracted to, you’re a keeper.
7. Sense of humour: You have to get my jokes! Be able to relax, have fun and make me laugh every once in a while.
That’s it!
I’m personally looking forward to finding out what the guys look for in a lady, straight from a man’s perspective.
Editor’s note: The “He Says” response will be on Connect Nigeria on Friday.
About the Writer: Ify Halim is a young Creative and a promoter of values through the force that is writing. Follow her on twitter: @MissHalim
