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In Hebrew, the word for love is “ahava.” Every Hebrew word has its root word from which its meaning is derived. The root word of ahava is hav, which means to give. In other words, loving is synonymous with giving. In modern times and culture, love is an abstract thought of emotion, how one feels toward another but the Hebrew meaning goes much deeper. As a verb this word means “to provide and protect what is given as a privilege” as well as ” to have an intimacy of action and emotion”. We are told to love God and our neighbors, not in an emotional sense, but in the sense of our actions. How many times have we seen relationships and homes fall apart and the first thing we hear is “I do not love him/her anymore”? As a little girl I grew up wondering; did they ever love each other in the first place? If they did, what changed? Where did they miss it? But as I grew up, my analysis and questions changed; I realized that a lot of us had entirely different views and definitions of what we thought and believed love is. Love itself in its entirety is broad and can take years to comprehend but the one who best defined it for us is Jesus Christ because he gave himself for love. In the world we live in now, love is often quantified by the things given by those who claim to love us. You hear things like “if he/she loved me, they would give me whatever I want and need.” A lot of people go into friendships, relationships and marriages with the mentality to only collect and when this expectation is dashed, various problems arise. But how can one hope to receive without being willing to give? Doesn’t giving precede receiving? How much should you give to someone you love? Then we move to the question: how do you know you love someone? How do you know someone loves you? Still referencing the Hebrew word for love “ahava”, if love means to give, then what definition exists for the mushy feeling going on around us? Boy meets girl, spend some time together and voila! they are in love!… no scratch that, some meet each other and go straight into a relationship or sometimes even marriage. I’m not disputing the fact that some in fact do meet and immediately build a sort of “connection” but often it is not love. You see, I strongly believe that love is built.  As a verb, the word ‘ahava’ means “to provide and protect what is given as a privilege” as well as “to have an intimacy of action and emotion”.  I love that word ‘to have an intimacy of action and emotion’; that means the blending together of the two, one couldn’t properly function without the other. Love begins with friendship and then gradually grows into what we desire it to be. This is the beginning and the foundation but unfortunately, most of the time, we all miss it. We aren’t even friends, talk less of being companions and yet we want to just jump right into intimacy and then deeper. I’ve heard people say that love is not enough in relationships/marriages, but that’s so untrue… Love is “ALL” every friendship, relationship and marriage needs to survive. Love and nothing more! But the question should be “What is your definition of love?”       About the Writer: Eniola Adeniji is a woman after God’s own heart, a motivational Writer, Speaker, Fashion and Photography addict. She is also a Business Developer, Social Media Manager and the founder of Woman Of Value. She blogs at ennmae.wordpress.com      
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This article was first published on 10th April 2015

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