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  The wedding season is upon us again, and already I can hear people lamenting the high asoebi prices these days. Some are complaining about the number of asoebis they have to buy for weddings and how it’s financially uncomfortable for them. Asoebi culture is a lovely one. I like the uniformity, the display of colours, and the feeling of closeness or at least familiarity, that it gives guests at a wedding. Having said that, I believe buying asoebi should be a totally voluntary act. Not psychologically, emotionally or physically forced onto anyone. I believe it is unfair of any couple or their family to coerce people into buying their asoebi. It is not a compulsory part of any ceremony, and no one should be made to feel bad for attending an event in a different outfit. Since the refusal to wear asoebi to an event won’t disrupt the event, or end my life, I devised a strategy to limit the number of asoebis that I buy, or sometimes, to escape buying any at all. Build A Reputation I know people who never buy asoebi, no matter how close they are to the host of the event. They also never sell asoebi to guests when they are hosting an event. These people have now built a reputation for themselves such that, if you are planning an event and sending out notifications for the purchase of fabric, you automatically exclude their names. With this method, you most likely won’t get a bad rap for not buying asoebi, as everyone already knows it’s not your thing. Have A Budget If you are not totally against buying asoebi but will still like to limit the rate at which you buy, then this is for you. For whatever money I have, there is a savings and spending budget. I also have a price limit- the price at which an item will be forfeited. This method is applicable to asoebi. Your limit can be as high as you can comfortably afford without going into debt or squeezing your finances dry. If N10,000 is the maximum you can spend on an asoebi, that’s fine. Any one that goes higher than that won’t be bought. Say No, Firmly Once there is an asoebi that is too expensive for your budget, or that you are not interested in, just say no in a kind manner that won’t hurt the host’s feeling, but still firm enough to ensure that you won’t be guilt-tripped. Refusing to buy asoebi won’t stop the ceremony from happening. The maximum that can happen is the host getting angry. Once you say no to one, you find that it becomes easier to say no to others without feeling guilty. The events industry in Nigeria is enjoying a boom right now. Weddings are getting bigger and tastes are higher. This trend has touched the asoebi culture too and fabrics for asoebi are sporting ridiculously high price tags. To save yourself from being carried away by unnecessary spending that could hurt you, follow these pointers and save yourself some money! About the Author: Amina Salau is a writer and editor running The Illuminated Pen. You can find her online at www.theilluminatedpen.com and on Twitter (@_Aminah)
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This article was first published on 28th November 2014

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