How to Handle the First Date ‘Palaver’

The search for “the one” can be unpredictable, messy and sometimes downright unpleasant. In our search for an almost perfect soulmate, we cannot help but go through this. I mean the dreadful stage of “what am I going to wear”, “how do I carry on a conversation”. You begin to fret when you think about the “what ifs” (what if he/she doesn’t just like me) and it goes on and on.

I used to dread the words “FIRST DATE”. Going on first dates sometimes can be exhausting. I have over the years overcome my first date fears though I still have a lot of friends who dread it like the plague but it’s something we can’t just escape in our search for “the one”.

Many of you would agree with me that first dates are like job interviews. You just have to prepare and bring your “A” game lest you flunk. I know so many people, mostly the female gender dread first dates like it’s the flu. Most people have opted for the single status because of first date palavers.

The interesting part is that it has become a lot easier with the advent of social media. You chat with people continuously and in some situations, you have your first date online but is it enough? I personally am not a fan of first dates but if you haven’t found your soulmate then it’s inevitable.

Truth be told, we go to this first dates with so many expectations. We try to fit in everything in one single date and we expect miracles (like a herald of singing angels or butterflies fluttering). I have always believed that dating like any other fine skill is a discipline, meant to be practised and perfected.

So I penned down some tips which I think might ease up the first date tension. These tips were brought about by my experiences and those of my friends and I really hope it helps.

• Don’t try to over-impress. I mean it when I say this, just don’t. Don’t try to impress with your clothes, how good your career is or how brilliant you are. Trust me, it never ends well. You just look like you are trying too hard. Save everything for the future.
• Keep the conversation minimal. It’s good to always keep this in mind. Most people are “chatterboxes” when they are nervous (it comes with the territory). Having this in mind helps 100%.
• Try to go casual. I mean, with the location of your date. Don’t go too romantic, remember this is like your job interview and the job isn’t yours yet. Don’t dream about candlelight dinners yet. It just messes with your mind except in that 1 out of 20 situations (if you believe you are the exception then go for it).
• Don’t expect magic. We all think we are going to have that “then I saw him and my heart stopped” kind of moment. Please wake up, this isn’t Disneyland. Just go easy and have fun.
• Remember to be real and be yourself. Don’t try to fit into what you think that person wants or expects. Be 100% original and if they don’t like it, well it’s their loss. Don’t sell yourself short just because you believe he/she is the “one”. Be you, be real!!

Just remember this, in the world of dating we all are warriors competing on an often brutal battlefield. Sometimes on the dating battlefield, one warrior’s forfeit can be another’s victory. But there is one thing that keeps us even wounded warriors in the battle, HOPE. Hope that, there really is a perfect someone out there for everyone. Enjoy and have fun.

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francisca-eleyele

Francisca is a passionate thespian, a gifted writer and a voracious reader. She is a graduate of Mass Communication, who enjoys being on screen and on stage and is presently working on writing and producing her first feature film. The other things she lives for are, reading a good book, cuddling up to watch a good movie and cooking up a storm in the kitchen.Oh and she loves to laugh...a lot. You can reach her via Instagram @justphabulous and on Twitter and facebook by clicking the icons below.

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