Being the mother- primary caregiver, food vending machine, nurse, first friend, guardian angel- of a precious, fragile, helpless newborn can be both frightening and tasking. Here are a few tips to ease that burden if only slightly.
1. Always keep a list handy for when friends and family come around. I remember when, weighed down with the responsibility of caring for a newborn, I would squeal in delight when someone asked how they could help…and then frown in confusion as I struggled to remember where I needed help. Always have a list of chores they can help you do, and things they can help you buy at the market or supermarket.
2. Accept all the help you can get. You are not superwoman and you’ve got nothing to prove. If someone capable wants to bathe the baby for you, or hold him while you take a bath yourself, graciously accept. If there are no family members to help, consider hiring live-in help or someone to come in a few times a week to do the cleaning and laundry.
3. Keep two diaper bags. I learnt this late and stressed myself unnecessarily in the early days. Have one bag for home and another bag for outings, each packed with the essentials- diapers, wipes, nappy cream, changing mat etc. and be sure to add rattles or some other toy in the outing back. This way, when you have to go out, you don’t need to start unpacking and packing, you just pick up the bag and leave.
4. Sleep when baby is sleeping. This is one of the best pieces of advice I got as a new mum. You’ll be feeding round the clock for the first few months, so even when you have someone around to help, your baby at this stage needs you awake when she’s awake. It’s simply common sense, then, to sleep when she’s sleeping. You’ve got chores that need to be done during her nap times? See number two above.
5. Get into a routine quick. Babies, like toddlers, thrive on routines. You can’t afford to be rigid, especially if you’re feeding on demand, but you can create a structure that lets you know what needs to be done at what time. This is necessary for your sanity and sense of well-being, and makes it easier for someone to step into your shoes if you need to get some rest or fresh air. Most fathers want to help, and knowing what happens when allows them do so more confidently.
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