There is a misconception that you are only likable when you are good looking, incredibly talented and fiercely social. A lot of people have actually succumbed to this misconception and they go out thinking people will like everything about them just because they possess some talent or they look good. While people might like you from a distance if you are good looking and talented, the same people will avoid you like the plague if they get close and notice that your attitude and your character are nowhere near their impression of you.
Even if you are an employer and the boss, you shouldn’t think people will like you whether they want to or not; they might respect you because you pay their salaries or determine what happens with their appraisal, but might not like you one bit. For you to be likable, you have to do more than being in authority, or being gregarious, intelligent and attractive. You need sincerity, transparency, and capacity to understand the other person.
For you to be likable, you have to exhibit some of the traits listed below:
1. LEAVE A STRONG FIRST IMPRESSION
Because you never get a second chance to make first impression, it is important you work towards making a good one at the first and only attempt. In psychology, a first impression is the event when one person first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. Most times, first impressions are based on a wide range of characteristics: age, race, culture, language, gender, physical appearance, accent, posture, voice, number of people present, and time allowed to process. Though impression accuracy varies depending on the observer and the person being observed, the first impressions individuals give to others could greatly influence how they are treated and viewed in many contexts of everyday life. This is why you need to be real, and be your true self all the time.
2. DON’T BE AN ATTENTION SEEKER
Enjoying the attention of others is socially acceptable in many situations, but when you try too hard and make such behaviour excessive and inappropriate, you gradually become a bore. The thing is, people tend to like you less when you are desperate for attention as you really don’t need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likable. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over.
When you’re being given attention deservedly, such as when you’re being recognized for an accomplishment, shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there. This may sound cliché, but if it’s genuine, the fact that you pay attention to others and appreciate their help will show that you’re appreciative and humble, and people will tend to like you more.
3. BE GENUINE
We can all agree that being fake is a negative thing as no one likes a fake. The age of social media has given rise to so many people pretending or acting to be who they are not. In spite of this, a lot of people want to look past the profiles created, photos uploaded, and into the collection of thoughts, interactions and behaviours that fill each day.
Likable people are genuine people who have solid and consistent self-esteem. They are much less defensive about things, they can feel authentic, and they can be authentic. They’re far less worried about the implications of exposing who they are, because they feel okay about who they are. They embrace their vulnerability and are not afraid to share their true thoughts, beliefs and opinions with the world.
4. BALANCE WORK AND FUN
A lot of young people are so immersed in their work that people gradually stay away from them. Don’t get me wrong, it is a good thing to be passionate about your work but it is easy for you to come across as too serious or uninterested because you tend to get too absorbed in your work. For you to be likable, you need to balance your passion with the ability to have fun. When at work, be serious but friendly as this will spread positive emotions to others around you thereby enabling you to be more resourceful, flexible and open, which eventually helps you to be better at solving problems.
About the Writer: Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian, who believes in God and humanity. He is a writer, blogger, and an aspiring Television Director; and an optimist to the core. He blogs at www.chrisbamidele.wordpress.com and tweets @Chrisbamidele
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This article was first published on 16th March 2015
chris-bamidele
Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian, who believes in God and humanity. He is a writer, blogger, and an aspiring Television Director; and an optimist to the core. He blogs at www.chrisbamidele.wordpress.com and tweets @Chrisbamidele.
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