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I am going to describe a scene to you. I wish to give you a stern lecture about the Friend Zone and I need to be sure that we are all on the same page before I proceed. You know how you’re about to have a debate and you have to define major terms? Yes. Good. Let’s get to it then. Picture this:

John is sitting on her bed, watching her reflection in the mirror as she carefully applies her make-up. It’s one of those backstage showstopper mirrors, with lights all around the gilded edges. The lights hit her luscious, full shiny lips as she applies gloss on them, and he stares mesmerized, as her tongue flickers out discreetly to lick off some of it. She is fond of doing that. She does it all the time. It’s so cute how she thinks no one ever notices. Chocolate flavored. No, he hasn’t tasted it off her lips. She told him once. She tells him everything. He can’t count how many times he has assumed this position, sitting down on her soft, teddy-ridden bed, watching her apply make up to her already beautiful face. Sitting down after bringing her coffee early in the morning. Sitting down after doing a quick run to the pharmacy to pick up pads, pens or pain medication. Sitting down and listening to her sonorous voice gush over her latest crush or groan over the last guy who crushed her.

She’s gushing now, going on and on about the guy she’s going to meet. She can’t believe where he’s taking her. It’s a high-end restaurant but John could do better. She turns and faces him, adjusting her breasts into her bra to make them look fuller. He wants to look away but his head wouldn’t turn. Even better, let her think he isn’t affected. “Did you bring it?” she finally asks. “Yes. I brought it.” He slips her the condom pack and she grins as she puts it into her bag. “Thanks John. You’re such a nice guy.”

* * *

Get it? Good. Many of you have been in this zone. I’m sure as you read the scene above your own experiences flashed before your eyes and replaced the words on the screen. For those with no imaginative power, I’ll break it down. Guy likes girl. Girl likes guy, but not in the same way. He can’t help himself, so he hangs out around her, does things for her, listens to her, tries to impress her. Only, as a result, he leaves the wrong impression. She now finds him as sexually appealing as a lamp. At this point,If someone asked her what she felt for him or confronted her as to why she isn’t dating said guy you would hear things like, “He’s nice, but he’s not my type” and “I don’t see him like that, he is like a brother to me.” If a girl you like ever describes you in this terms, it’s over. Friend zone is particularly painful because you are so close, yet so far. It’s like you applying for your dream job, and they call you and say, ‘Sir, with your certifications and your qualifications, you are perfect for this job. However, we don’t want to hire you. We wouldn’t ever hire you. What we would do is take your CV and use it as a standard for anyone else applying for the same job. Even someone who has half the specs, we will take. We will interview this person in front of you, every time. You will watch the person do your job and you will watch us fire the person, because at the end of the day he wouldn’t be able to do it as good as you, but we wouldn’t ever, ever hire you.’ Sad, right? How to get out of the Friend Zone You want to get out? I laugh. I lack the words. Let these pictures do the telling for me-