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Danfos are the yellow commercial buses that you see everywhere in Lagos. If you live around Lagos and its environs you are sure to be familiar with the following scenarios. Here are ten things you would experience in a danfo: 1. Bus fare changes: There is always a variation in the bus fee. No bus fare is fixed. The price you paid the previous day is way different from the price you are expected to pay the next day. This is especially during rush hours. 2. No change: There is always no change when you enter a “danfo”. It’s a default line that comes out from the mouth of a bus conductor. The rule is to “marry” you with another passenger when the conductor discovers that there is no change, i.e. you are both given one bill and asked to find a way to split it between you. So, it is better to always hold your change whatever the situation. 3. Mingle with other people: The bus is the best place to socialize with other people. There is always a form of interaction or a topic of conversation that gets you engaged. This flow of conversation is always depended on the current trend in the news or what is happening around you. 4. Aromas: There are different kinds of aroma when you enter a bus. From the sweating smelly armpit of the bus conductor, to the “farting”, to the stench from food produce loaded in the bus. Oh! Mouth wash services should get conductors to do their adverts because of their ‘squeaky clean’ mouth. 5. Squeezing weight: The bus always never has enough space. The bus conductors are ready to get as many passengers as it is possible. The Never ending overload of passengers would get you squeezed. I had an encounter in a bus where I was squeezed in by two plus size women. I ended up on the laps of one of them. After a lot of shifting to create space you get to sit with half of your buttocks. Trust me, you would be squeezed like tuna fish in tins! 6. The Know it all passenger: From driving lessons, to the current event, this passenger is up to date, she/he is aware of the wrong turn in the driving route. The passenger is aware of all the rules to be followed. Even in conversation, he is not directly involved in, he adds his opinion whether you asked or not, 7. Rickety seats, Dirty bus: It’s a miracle when you come across a neat clean “danfo” bus even in the wee hours of the day. It’s a trademark of sitting on iron clad seats. 8. Faulty Vehicles: You haven’t had the thrills of “danfo” if you haven’t stopped in the middle of third mainland bridge because of a flat tire. The driver usually asks the passengers to wait for the bus to be fixed or transfers the passengers to another vehicle.  If you have an appointment, give a lot of time time space for journey. You never know with danfos. 9. Lapping in a bus: I am not talking about the woman with her four children paying for one seat. Let’s talk about the guy with his girlfriend sitting in his laps to save money for a date kind. They inconvenience both themselves and the other passengers around them. Is it fair? 10. The JJCs: We all have been in this position before. The JJCs who do not know the direction to where they’re going. Some would shout the name of their purposed bus stop way before they get to it. Or shout out the bus stop after the driver has gone passed it. It’s a fast and furious episode when the danfo driver is trying to avoid law officials after breaking the law. Prayer warriors in the bus intensify their prayers, either, to avoid getting caught or for safety. Others who are prone to taking risks, start confessing crimes they have not committed just to identify with the drivers’ guts. Finally, I’d like to say to you, my reader, if you haven’t boarded a Danfo in Lagos before, my dear, you haven’t experienced Lagos. ***feature image credit: ariyo olasunkanmi / Shutterstock.com
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This article was first published on 31st July 2017

adepeju

Adepeju Adenuga is a writer (considering where you are reading this, makes perfect sense). She holds a Masters Degree in Literature in English from the University of Lagos.

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