By Kanayo Aniegboka
I come across folk every day that are suffering from a certain syndrome; a killer more terrible than cancer and Ebola virus. This syndrome kills very slowly, by attacking and gradually destroying every cell of the human destiny. It takes a man with enormous potentials enough to be the next Obama or Einstein and turns him into a derelict. It takes hold of a lady that ‘Lady Diana’ holds no light to, and turns her into a slobbering junkie. Don’t get too comfortable and think that you’re out of the equation because I’m mentioning only junkies, no, not so. I’m referring to all of us, you and I, that have the potential to be rich, fulfilled, suave, ecstatically happy, peacefully settled, and upwardly mobile, but instead live as angry, bitter, broke, middleclass, no fun, unfulfilled shadows of our true self all as a result of this deadly syndrome. This illness is called ‘passing over responsibility for your life’
Life is symbiotic, we all depend on one another to make life work; passengers depend on the bus driver to get them to their destination, the staff depend on the janitor to have a clean restroom, you depend on the teller to get your money, your boss depends on you to get the job done, and you depend on your boss to be paid (I’m sure you get the picture). I have very important information for you; it’s nobody’s responsibility to make your life work! Everyone chips in to make ‘life in general’ work, but ‘your life’ is on you.
We go around looking for people to make us happy, we get in and out of relationships because they fail to make us happy, we look for who would make us some money, we expect the government to take care of our needs, our parents to take care of our bills, our bosses to draw out our potentials, our children to make us fulfilled, our families to support us… we have practically handed over every little piece of our lives to someone and we are relieved of the responsibility for it. The truth is that no one was brought on earth to make you happy, fulfilled or comfortable. It’s our responsibility to see to it that ‘our lives’ work. Every support we have from family, joy from friends, welfare from government, mentorship from bosses is a privilege. They are added values to our efforts.
Whenever you find an angry, unfulfilled and bitter person and you ask the reason for their failure, you’ll get a cascade of reasons that would include everything from “my parents, my society, my boss, our government, my dog bingo, and my cat fluffy” Unfortunately; the only thing you won’t hear is “it is my fault”. We blame everyone else instead; It was my mama’s fault I wasted my days in the university and came out with a 3rd class, I am on crack because my father abandoned us, I’m performing badly at work because my boss is not nice to me. Sweetheart wake up and smell the coffee, it’s all on you! It’s not ‘their life’ or ‘our life’, it’s ‘YOUR life’ and YOU are RESPONSIBLE for the outcome. A Mahatma Ghandi said “It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one’s acts”
You are more than you’re presently experiencing, and it’s because you have relegated the responsibility to be everything you can be to someone other than yourself.
About the Author: Kanayo Aniegboka is a motivational speaker and author who has worked at House on the Rock Word House and Attended the University of Nigeria. You can read more of his work at www.reallifewithkani.com or on Twitter @realwithkani.
