If you are reading this post, let me commend you for not making up your mind to close this article as you are one in a million who has not given his mind an answer to this issue.
You may be curious to know if I am in favour or not, but before I give my verdict let’s look at this issue with an open mind.
It is one of the most controversial topics, and has been so for centuries. It is a bottleneck for many Christian singles. It is the issue of dating an unbeliever or a Non-Christian.
The origin of this issue begins in 2 Corinthians 6:14 where Paul says that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Also tied with this scripture is 1 Corinthians 15:33 which states that bad company corrupts good manners.
Now I can relate to why Paul talks about the issue of being unequally yoked. In the time past, Israel suffered a lot of hardship and suffering, being conquered by foreign nations and made to be slaves.
The Israelites believed that their suffering was as a result of sin against God but this was caused by the foreign counterparts who they happily embraced in their community. These foreign men and women introduced them to strange cultural practices and idols that made them turn away from God and therefore face His wrath.
Even though they would later be in God’s good books, Paul did not forget their ordeals which is why he could give such bold instructions.
However are we being plagued by the same situations that Israel encountered today? Are we being bombarded with idols and strange cultural practices? During the time of Paul, unbelievers were people who worshipped Idols and did not know God? Today we have religions such as Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu, Atheism and a host of others. I wonder; should a person’s personality be judged by his religion?
Dating a Non-Christian: The Good
If you date an unbeliever, you might discover that some of these individuals have good manners, live a good life, possess great wisdom and have a good sense of humour.
They might not be able to quote a scripture, or say the names of God but they can be loving people and fun too.
Dating an Unbeliever: The Bad
This occurs if you decide to take your relationship to a whole new level. You want to step out of the friend zone. Be prepared to settle a lot of issues during this process. You need to know whether you are on the same page with your partner unless how can two people work together, if they don’t agree. This is the tricky part of the process and this where things might get out of hand.
This is where a couple would have to challenge their mindset. Question arise such as:
i. What do you believe about…everything? ii. What is the reasoning-believing process? iii. How do you form your views?
Now there other questions that arise in areas such as finances, entertainment. leisure. children etc
It is at this point that conflicts might occur. There might be conflict of belief system. One person thinks that Jesus exists and the other feels otherwise. One person has a way of worship and the other is irritated by it; one partner believes in spiritual authority the other believes in spiritual democracy.
Even though there might be a compromise from one partner, it doesn’t change the mindset.
Dating an Unbeliever: The Ugly
The biggest mistake occurs when partners with different belief systems especially a religious one, go on with the mindset that they can change each other.
They go on believing that all they need is patience; sooner or later their partner will turn a new leaf.
The goal itself is worthy. The problem is that people are not good in changing. You can never predict human behaviour; sometimes we think we know people enough, but only God knows the intention of man. It’s risky to delve into a relationship or marriage with that belief. Most people have had bad experiences trying to change the behaviour of their partners to conform to Christianity.
History shows us that humans find it difficult to embrace change. Jesus faced a lot of opposition trying to show his people the truth and even died in the process.
This is one reason why Paul instructed his people not to be unequally yoked. When you decide to make changing a person your project, you risk hurting yourself and your partner. You might be lucky to change your partner to your belief system, but you will suffer a lot of hardship in achieving this goal.
Paul chose the easiest solution when it comes to relationship, stick with one who believes in what you believe.
My Verdict The emphasis should not be about whether one should marry an unbeliever or not because even Christian couples who lack character and are not spiritually matured are prone to problems in relationships but rather, before there is a relationship or engagement, both parties should consider important factors.
Are you ready to work on the same page with your partner? What do think about dating or even marrying an unbeliever? Please share in the comment section.
About the author: Ikechi Awazie is a freelance writer, blogger and the creator of Be a Light to the World (www.awazieikechi.com) where he loudly declares that every man can make a difference in this world. You can follow him on Twitter. (www.twitter.com/ikechiawazie)