Tips to Falling Forward: Using Mistakes as Stepping Stones

“There is no doubt in my heart that there are many ways to be a winner, but there’s only way to be a loser, and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure” – Kyle Rote JR We all seem to know that one person who seems to always excel at everything they do, and it appears they don’t have to break a bone to get whatever they want. And sometimes, we look at some individual around us and say to ourselves ‘if only I could be as lucky as he is’ ‘Maybe my destiny is different’ ‘Maybe I’m just an average person’ or ‘Maybe I’m just destined to fail.’ But here is the truth; that person you are looking at doesn’t have everything figured out as much as you would like to think he does, he doesn’t have all the answers at his fingertips, and he is no different from you in many ways; he has just mastered the art of falling forward. Those people we look at as ‘super achievers’ probably have made more mistakes in life than we have made. This is simply because everyone makes mistakes – and the busier you are, the more mistakes you will make. The only question is “How well and how effectively do we deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life?” while I agree that some people might seem to have a degree of advantage because of their educational background or wealthy families, you should know those things on their own are not sure criteria for life’s achievement and success. As a matter of fact, high percentages of successful people come from poor backgrounds, broken homes, and some are college dropouts. We must accept that a wealthy background is not an indication of high achievement, and neither does a poor background guarantee low achievement in life. It is how we deal with issues of life and how we respond to our failures that shapes our success. There is one major difference between the people we look at as ‘Super achievers’ and the rest of us – Our responses to failure and perception of it. Majority of us, if not all had dreams and aspirations as children but as we grow, we start to realize that achieving those dreams is not as smooth as our imaginations made them appear. We suddenly realize that we just can’t have all we want on a platter of gold. And since many of us are not prepared for failure, the moment we experience setbacks in our ambition and we come across slightest hint of failure; we just quit, while those ‘Super achievers’ fight on and cross the hurdle. So, how do we benefit from our mistakes, remain positive in the face of adversity and using our failures as stepping stones? Let’s consider these three tips. 1. Expect a Lot Out of Life There are two ways to look at the world: the benevolent way and the malevolent way. People with a malevolent or negative worldview take a victim stance; they see life as a continuous succession of problems and a process of unfairness and oppression. They don’t expect a lot and they don’t get much. When things go wrong, they shrug their shoulders and passively accept that this is the way life is and there isn’t anything they can do to make it better. On the other hand, people with a benevolent and positive worldview see the world around them as filled with opportunities and possibilities. They believe that everything good or bad happens as part of a great process designed to make them successful and happy. They approach their lives, their work, and their relationships with optimism, cheerfulness, and a general attitude of positive expectations. They expect a lot, and they are seldom disappointed in the long run. 2. Learn From Your Mistakes Learn from your mistakes and try using them to better yourself and improve the quality of your thinking, especially as it concerns your future endeavours. Develop the resilience to be a master of change rather than a victim of change. Imagine that your biggest problem or challenge in life has been sent to you at this moment to help you, to teach you something valuable – what could it be? When you do this, you will become a creator of circumstances rather than a creature of circumstances. 3. Cut Your Losses Finally, be willing to cut your losses and walk away if you have made a mistake or a bad choice. Accept that you are not perfect, that you can’t be right all the time… and then get on with your life. Mistakes become extremely expensive and hurtful when people refuse to accept that they have made a bad choice or decision – and prolong the consequences by sticking to it. Understand that failure is not a percentage or a test, it is not a single event; it is a process.   About the author: Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian, who believes in God and humanity. He is a writer, blogger, and an aspiring Television Director; and an optimist to the core. He blogs at www.chrisbamidele.wordpress.com and tweets @Chrisbamidele.