Relationship Compromises: How Far Would You Go For Love?

1 Corinthians 13 still rings as my best Bible chapter yet. The fourth to the eighth verses in New International Version: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. Yes, it is my best Bible chapter but also a chapter that scares the hell out of me. The chapter draws me to the strength and the power inherent in love and I wonder at how far a person can go when it comes to the matter of love. What happens when a matter arises that is so huge, so important to both partners and so impossible to agree on that to compromise feels more like making a soul-shattering sacrifice? Whether we admit it or not, these soul-shattering sacrifices are being made on a daily basis like when a woman waits for one man for more than five years or when a woman who has dreams of having children surround her table marries a man who has made it clearly known that he has no desire for kids or when a woman puts her children’s needs before her own aspirations, dreams and goals, love is happening and sometimes such sacrifices tend to be one sided and usually comes from the female folk. From time immemorial, women have been known to make more major life sacrifices for their men and although we hate it, it is the reality we face. Yet if we go by the Bible, it seems more women keep getting their roles mixed up by giving up everything they are for the men they claim to love. The Bible clearly makes it known that it is the place of the man to LOVE and the place of the woman to RESPECT. This means that although they both need to love and respect each other, the man should LOVE the woman more and the woman should RESPECT the man more. It is the place of the man who claims to LOVE a woman to make sacrifices and according to the 1 Corinthians 13 verses 7 “to always protect, to always trust, to always hope and always persevere” for the woman. This was exemplified in the life of Christ who gave up his life for the bride, the church He loves. So, woman, when a man demands that you prove to him that you love him by asking you to violate your values, respect him by stepping out of his picture and out of his life unless he is willing to make a compromise. If the beau brings a big life issue to you that does not necessarily conflict with your values but it is clearly something you are uncomfortable with and he is asking you to make a compromise, communication is key. Where there is no communication, there can be no understanding and any sacrifice made under such conditions will eventually just fade into nothingness. The beau should be ready to keep zealously to the side of his bargain, keep communication real and alive and let you know how much he appreciates your sacrifice. Most of all, addressing both men and women, ensure that you are true to yourself when making sacrifices for love. As soon as you feel uncomfortable about the sacrifice you agreed to, get talking with your spouse. You’ll have long, real and hard talks, uncomfortable to the core but it will end up either in an adjustment or a total overhaul. Knowing what is important to you versus what is important to him will help you make the best decision. Sometimes, letting go is the price you might have to pay for love because you discover that you might be the distraction to the goals and the aspirations of your partner when what they apparently need contrasts strongly with what you need and there seems to be no hope of getting a compromise. Whatever decision you make, ensure that you are true to yourself. Seek out the silver lining in your “NO” or work hard to get to the place of acceptance in your “YES”. Either way, this type of sacrifice is never easy. So, tell me how far would you go for love?