Dating as a single parent can be a very time-consuming venture. This is because most single-parent consider children as the top-most priority and dedicate virtually all their time to raising and nurturing them. Unfortunately, while this might seem like it’s a responsible thing to do, it could also rob you of the possibilities of finding your own soul mate. While you might think giving your child your fullest attention is the best decision, you might lose yourself in the long run. You need to know you have needs and a vacuum that needs to be filled not in your heart but in your child’s development as well. If you are seriously considering dating here are some tips you can adopt to carry out your decisions comfortably.
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Make sure you are ready
Time is one of the most important subjects of contemplation for most single parents. You need to look at the pros and cons involved in dating while raising a child to determine if you are ready to get it on. Dating can be addictive and time-consuming. The last thing you need is to add pressure to your life causing you or your children to suffer. Dating should be what makes you feel alive. If you don’t feel that way, then you should stop and reconsider.
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Keep your children in the loop
Many single parents end up feeling guilty about being happy. This is to the point that they keep their partners away from the eyes of their kids. This is wrong, you shouldn’t your children in the dark of dating. Let them into your happiness. Besides, a partner that sends the wrong vibes to your kids might be the wrong choice. You will need a partner that is not just compatible with you but with your kids also.
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Put your child’s feelings first
Understand that your child’s feelings come first. Remember that before a partner, you are also a parent. Don’t jump in headfirst and then get frustrated that your home commitments are holding you back. Keep your priorities foremost in your mind.
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Know your limits
There are wrong impressions that most single parents are wayward and wanton, especially in the Nigerian setting. You can prove this wrong by ensuring that you don’t break your personal values and principles. The right partner will help you build them not go against them. You need to watch out for your limits.
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Don’t expect things to be perfect
It is true that not everything can be perfect, relationships aren’t fairytales but real-life situations. They might not always work out. In a relationship, it is good to have expectations but do not place high hopes on your partner. This will help reduce the pain of heartbreak. Being cautious of expectation doesn’t mean you have to be a pessimist but being a realist.
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Be wary of your Ex
Be sure you are over your ex and have completely healed. Don’t start a relationship because you just need a new partner as an emotional crutch. Once you are content with your life you are ready to let a new person in. On the same token, don’t leave it too long. It could knock your confidence and make it harder to re-enter the realms of the dating world.
Dating as a single parent isn’t that much different from dating when you were just single. The obvious difference is that you no longer evaluate a potential partner based solely on how you feel about them but also on the feelings of your kids. You are also in bed with another person your kids. If you can manage well in this area, you are good to go.
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