How Much Of The Truth Should You Tell Your Partner?

By Oluphemmie

Recently, I overheard a couple arguing within an inch of their lives, the husband had packed a few bags, had removed his wedding ring and was moving out of their home. Apparently, after a night of passionate love making, breakfast in bed and all the works, their sudden rekindled fire was abruptly extinguished in a moment of recklessness during the morning-after-pillow talk.   Cast: – Husband     (manly man) – Wife             (Shy, innocent, loving) – Me                (???)   (Husband): so darling, I am glad I met you. It’s so comforting to know that I can always count on you whenever and wherever, you are probably the best thing that ever happened to me. (Wife, blushing): thank you dear, you know you are the centre of my world and I am your ultimate fan and lover, here to support and satisfy you always. (Husband): I can imagine how difficult it was for you for those two years I was away in the UK for my MBA, you called me every evening and we talked for hours. Just as we are talking now. (Wife blushing): I know, those were trying times my love, I wished I could just wish myself into your arms and I would be there with you. I was kept going by the way I felt for you, and the memories we had together. Becoming your wife made the wait all worth it.   —-They kiss, and hug—   (Husband): by the way, Akin and his fiancée had a fight, apparently, she lied to him and he found out, something she apparently did before they got married; I think couples should always tell the truth no matter what. (Wife): Really, that’s sad. Well, they say the truth sets you free. Thankfully we have stayed true to each other, and will continue to be that way. So, is there anything in your past that you didn’t tell me, that I should know about. (Husband): Nothing serious, I once had a brief affair with Tolani, the slender girl in your office, it was one night of indiscretion, and I think I mentioned it to you back then (wife sighs heavily) you forgave me for that already (he thinks to himself… I mean that was the naughtiest 12 months with Tolani as my little secret – he remembers the secret encounter in the office elevator the day after he proposed to his wife- a cold chill runs down his spine) and you? (Wife): you know I keep nothing from you, and you are by best friend and confidant, (husband nods), I have only one secret that has burdened my heart. I guess saying it today would lift a weight off my chest. (Husband) Hmm, we shouldn’t keep anything from each other, love can handle all things, besides (he thinks to himself- I married a virgin; I know I was her first, I remember our  wedding night, besides, she is so introverted, so how bad could this be?) (Wife): you remember Steven, my childhood friend, the one that used to lend me his mobile phone to call you and all of that, who I said lost his girlfriend two years ago in an accident? Well, there was this day he came over and was really sad because he got robbed while wondering aimlessly around thinking of her; you should have seen him that day (husband sighs, impatiently) well, he eventually came over to mine and mum cooked for him before going out. He was bleeding and so I had to treat his wounds before he slept off in my arms. (Husband): Hmm, I have always known you were caring and supportive and would always bend over backwards to help your friends, that’s one of the qualities that really got me hooked on you. I hope Steve recovered, but that isn’t at all bad. (Wife): well, he was so vulnerable and didn’t want to be alone, one thing did lead to another and I- I- I (whispering ever so softly now) I slept with him. (Husband): as in, you guys just slept in the same bed right?! (Wife sobbing uncontrollably now): I am so ashamed dear, so ashamed to sometimes admit to myself that it even happened.  It rained that night and it was cold, and we were in bed asleep and I was missing you and wanting you so much, and somehow I got lost in the moment, he was wearing the same cologne I bought you, the one I told u ‘does it for me”,  the whole room smelt like you and I woke up and realized that it wasn’t you I made love to during the night; I have been unable to look him in the eye ever since and I cut off all correspondence with him. I know it’s a lot to take in at the moment, but in the spirit of not keeping secrets within us, please forgive me.    1.       Did she really need to reveal that much? 2.       Should he forgive her in the spirit of full disclosure? 3.       Where do we draw the line on ‘truth telling’ in relationships?   We have all been raised to believe in all sorts of clichés, and one of such is what played out here. Truth be told, in relationships, truth is truth in the context of what is being said, where it is being said and to whom it is being said. Then again, why bother, right?