So your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend wants you back, and you’re considering giving them another chance…
Sure, there are times when getting back together turns out to be the best thing, and you go on to live happily ever after. However, most times, it’s simply a bad idea. Why?
First off, it’s most likely that nothing has changed. There’s a reason the relationship had to end in the first place. It’s likely there were issues, and those issues are still there. If you allow your emotions to lead you, and you get back into the relationship without dealing with them, you’re going to waste your time and hurt yourself… or both of you.
Probably their solution to the issues you had is not to change themselves but to change you. They may believe that if they fix you, the relationship would be fixed. Rather than accept you for who you are, they’re coming back for another chance to “fix” you, to mold you into the ideal partner they have in their head. Run!
What if they don’t want to change you? What if they’re willing to take all the blame, even when you were wrong, just to have you back? That’s not a good thing either. Eagerly absolving you just to get back with you, is just as bad as them not taking responsibility for their one role in the relationship/breakup.
And have you really considered why they want you back so badly? You need to make sure your ex doesn’t want you back simply because they’re jealous that someone else wants you, or now has you.
On the other hand, they might simply be missing the amazing sex you used to have. Great sex does not a great relationship make, and physical chemistry is not a guarantee that you’ll have a successful relationship. If you get back into the relationship, you’ll have great sex plus a horrible relationship. What a mess.
You also need to consider the possibility that you’re simply a money bag. Perhaps you were their major financier, and now they don’t necessarily miss you but they miss the difference your money made in their lives. Is that really the kind of relationship you need?
Even if they’re not after your body or your money, there’s still the possibility that they want you back to please their family. Of course you’re amazing, and they were stupid to let you go. Now their parents or siblings have drummed it into their heads, “You let an amazing man/woman go. Get him/her back!” So now they want you back. Tell me, if they couldn’t see your worth, if they couldn’t do what was necessary to keep you and nurture your relationship, if it took those around them wanting you back for them to do same, should you really be with this person? What if they get tired of pleasing other people?
Things are hardly ever as they seem. That’s why you should never rush back into a relationship simply because they want you back. Time puts things in perspective, and if you believe nobody else can make you happy, you’ll never get the best you deserve.
You need to give it time, and you have to believe that you are worthy of genuine love, affection, loyalty and respect. If your ex isn’t offering these, it’s perfectly okay to say no, and leave the relationship where it belongs: in the past.
