If days were human, Friday would be the most loved human being on the planet. The mere fact that it is the last day of the work week and ushers in a weekend of fun and relaxation is enough to make it the day that is most looked forward to. For Nigerians, a lot of parties start from Friday. From wedding engagements to birthdays and dinners, the grooving begins after the close of work.
Owambe has become the term for parties these days. It’s a Yoruba word loosely translated as “It is happening there” or “I was there”, and it is now a name for big weddings and birthday parties. A typical owambe usually hosts hundreds of guests, some of whom may not have been invited at all but got there as a guest’s guest. The typical owambe‘s popular characteristics include a large crowd, lots of food and drinks, dancing, spraying of money, and aso ebi (fabric picked by the host to be worn by guests).
Whether you are an invited guest at an owambe, or you are tagging along with someone, there are some basic rules of etiquette to follow, so that you are the ideal party guest.
Be Punctual
An ideal guest is at the venue on time, so that they are seated promptly before the ceremony begins. I know a lot of people use ‘African time’ and get there during a reception, when they know food will be served. It is a bad habit that is disrespectful to your host. You are invited to be part of their day, and that includes the whole ceremony, not just the food part. Ensure that you get to the venue early and are seated, so that you do not disturb the ceremony while it is on.
Concentrate on the Ceremony
This is why you were invited. Don’t create or engage in distractions while the ceremony is in full swing. Ensure that you attend with both your mind and body present, listen to whatever is being said and respond whenever there is a need to. During a lot of wedding receptions for example, guests are usually requested to usher in the couple by standing. A lot of people flout this either because they are doing something else or they just don’t care. Except you have a genuine reason like a disability that prevents you from standing, please honour your hosts by complying with the ceremony procedures.
Give Gifts
If you have attended wedding ceremonies in Nigeria, you are familiar with the culture of giving the couple a gift. They invited you to share their day, and it is always nice to congratulate them by giving them a gift they will appreciate. It is not limited to weddings or large owambes, you can give your host a gift be it a birthday, house dedication or office launching party. This shows thoughtfulness and love.
Don’t Create Distractions
You know those ones that starts gisting as soon as the pastor starts to preach at a church wedding! While the core of the ceremony is going on, refrain from starting a noisy chatter by the side, or pulling attention away from the programme. Even if you don’t have a desire for a particular segment of the ceremony, please keep quiet and give others a chance to have a good time.
Don’t Scramble For Food
I always eat before leaving the house to attend a party. Owambes are usually large parties and while your host may have put every measure in place to ensure that you are given refreshments, there is always the possibility of not having a meal at a party. The crowd could be more than anticipated, or the serving crew could be disorganised. Either way, creating a scene because you didn’t get served any food, or aggressively accosting servers is a no-no. Have some food before leaving your house, so that you are not too hungry and start fighting for food at a party.
Don’t Hustle For Souvenirs
Souvenirs are gifts given out to guests by the host, as a way of saying ‘thank you’ for attending their event. Just like food, souvenirs are always a source of hot contest at a party. Whatever is being handed out, it is not nice to cause a scene or create noise. Be calmly seated and let your host have a beautiful party that you will enjoy.
Whether invited or not, being a good guest at a party is an ideal trait that is always appreciated by any party host.
About the author: Amina Salau is a writer and editor running The Illuminated Pen. You can find her online at www.theilluminatedpen.com and on Twitter (@_Aminah)
